[boardingpass]

I am a freshman at RU, just completed my first semester w/ slightly above avrg grades, working to a major in biological sciences in efforts for dental school. In high school, I switched schools senior year, so my social life was completely new at the end of my high school experience. I didn't have many friends from my last school but had multiple girl friends. I made friends w/ difficulty, couldn't trust people, always thought that people were selfish and snobby. I moved to a very wealthy neighboring town where socially it was notorious for snobby behavior, but now being college, I expected a new environment for me to explore. Yes, my major is demanding, but it still leaves time for social events, however, I find myself with difficulty to get into parties, talking to girls, making friends, and generally being happy. Last year, I was in the peak of my physical health, on the wrestling team, and extremely confident in my appearance. Today, I feel nothing short of frail and incompetent. I have lost my physical strength, lost interest in things I used to love (electronics, drawing, studying, lifting, socializing) and feel worried for myself. Everyday I would wake up, leave my dorm, BARELY eat something, attend class, come back, and go to sleep. I would try to implement myself into social activities, but I had no connections, no common interest groups, no roots to grow branches from! I studied much less than I should've but I also didn't feel motivated. I took general psychology in my first semester and it has expanded my understanding of emotion and personality, but I still can't comprehend why I feel the way I do. I tried to make friends, but I am surrounded by nerds (dorming on an honors floor) and can only make acquaintances. All I wanted to do was to have fun and get a kick out of the college lifestyle while also working for a successful future. I felt like something is lacking or like I am out of place, and now I'm on winter break trying to figure out what I must do to make college live-able. I don't have a girlfriend (always wanted one at college), I have only one friend from home that is too distant, no prominent hobbies, feel consistently weak, and I just want to be motivated. My mental health is flawed and I am extremely sensitive to what others may think. My family is loving and supportive, however my mother is worried for me and consistently sits me down to give me advise. I truly believe that I am talented and have capabilities that may exceed the average person, but at the same time I feel lonely, depressed, weak and hopeless! I avoid professional help and I don't want to seek for it because I feel like I am a normal being, but disadvantaged because of my skin color and coincidental series of events that have brought me to my current status. I became sick with mono over the summer, lost weight, had great experiences with girls but suddenly lost my relationships with friends and girls because of one popular individual who ruined my social image through gossip. This kid used to be my best friend but turned on me once he became jealous of my possessions and relationships. Ultimately, I have no friends and practically feel traumatized.

[depressedalaskan]

((((boardingpass)))) Welcome to PC. A few questions... What dose your color have to do with anything??? Why are you yourself judging people you don't even know NERDS????? All people are made differently but we are the same.. Hope you have a better tomorrow.