[vanessaG]

I've been feeling down past 3-4 days & with each new day it's worse. I don't know if I should go to hospital or not...

To be honest I haven't been in there in over 8 yrs and then I was only brought in by ambulance...

People are always like if you feel you need to go, go. But how did you know it was time to go (yourself)? How do I know if I should wait it out and see or go while I'm not that bad?

Or should I wait untill I really bad in bed about to do it and go....but to be honest I don't think I would @ that point. I'm all alone this wknd and that's all bad. Never been alone this depressed.

Also we're you embarrased to walk in ER? This may sound dumb but I'm kinda embarrased what others will think....cry for attention or whatever else.


Saw both tdoc n pdoc today. Pdoc said walk in emergency and tell them what you told me and tdoc said try and distract yourself...maybe go on a date with one of the many boys ur talking to?!

[roads]

Unless it's a truly special guy who understands what I'm going through, dragging myself through a date often made things worst. That's me.

So what do you think of your T? Your pdoc? Trust them? They really know you?

I looked at your profile. I'm kinda thinking I'd rather you not wait till you're in bed, plans gelling, no one with you ...

Any friends you might do something with this weekend?

Stay & talk to us for a while, okay? I got hauled off to a hospital three years ago in a ambulance my three best friends called.

Other than work tomorrow, you can hang out with me in my Bay Area on Florida's west coast. How's that sound? So ... Are you on any of these wonderful meds we take?

[pgrundy]

I went to my GP and asked for a med change. I knew I was way off, but I didn't want to go to the hospital. She asked me a bunch of questions and I went there in an ambulance. I was upset at first but realized once I got there it was the right place to be. They changed up my meds, got me on a better track.

Maybe you could go to your T or doc? Tell them what you are thinking and why you are wondering. They may make the decision for you, which may seem cowardly but sometimes you need that. Good luck and please come back and post how you are doing.

[pgrundy]

PS--I really needed for someone to make the decision for me. I couldn't do it for myself, even though I knew I was very sick. Yes I was embarrassed, but I got over it later once I felt well again. Better to be embarrassed than gone for good. Life does get better but not if you make a hasty decision to end it while you are very down. I know suicide seems to make sense sometimes, but that's how you know you are sick. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[vanessaG]

I don't know....goshh why is this so so hard?! I get really. Ad and in my mind I'm like I I'm going to go...then I feel a bit better and am like no...I'll let this pass...

& it's like I reach out to help to pdoc & tdoc and they're just like go to hospital. See you next appt!

I emailed my T and asked which hospital I go to and he just have me a list of 3 and that's it :/. No concern whatsoever...maybe I'll just have my friend take me? I guess..idk.
Oh n my T's email 2 outta the 3 hosp he gave me don't have a psychiatry unit. Wow.

[depressedalaskan]

I myself have been to the hospital 3 times. I went in on my own. When you get to planning your departure. It is time......... Do not wait. Sometimes at the hospital you will have a long wait to see someone but you are safe. With our illness we have to be safe. First time in they kept me 3 days, then 1 day and 9 days. When the hospital feels you are safe you can go. I guess you yourself will know. I wish you luck, take care of yourself, and if you really feel unsafe please get help. Wish I had more for you. I have been in your shoes and I am very very sorry you are feeling so low.

[tutitaylor]

I have been in the hospital 2 times. Each time I felt better after I went in and got it over with. I had a very excellent pdoc. I would think about getting a pdoc who you felt really cares. But right now I would just go in now and it will be a safe thing to do. Please post and let us know how you are doing and what decision you made. Tuti

[vanessaG]

Hi guys so I'm leaning towards going...I talked to my aunt (she's 3 hrs away from me) and she's flipping out so she's like I'm goin to call them for you if I don't he's back by 8. Lol

I was kinda whatever at 1st but at the same time it's kind of a relief. I think I'm going to take a shower and she can call. I can't go in. I don't know what's wrong, immaturity or whatever stupidness but I know myself I want to...I just can't walk in there and ask for help myself. I was barely able to make a phone call to t and p doc.

This guy wants to take me out on a date ( for drinks) I know my tdoc is encouraging this but idk. Idk It will make me feel better....and the state of mind I'm in, plus alcohol n coming home to benzos....I don't think a very good combo right now.

Ugh thanks guys so much I wish I had more ppl (that don't get paid by my ins) to talk to .
I have one close friend but she doesn't understand. She thinks a gallon of ice cream can fix this.

I'm going to shower and post before I go....

[bluemountains]

Hey vanessa,
Go! Definitely you don't want to mix the benzos with the alcohol. Btw, if you do have the alcohol, skip the benzos tonight. Meanwhile, though, remember the aunt loves you and knows you.
I wouldn't call it immaturity or stupidity, I think it is brave and smart to realize when you need help and being willing to seek it out! I was never that smart when I was young. Heck, I'm not that smart now.

Many Hugs!
Bluemountains

Can I ask why your pdoc did not directly admit you to a hospital? I suppose he has no hospital affiliation? My pdoc actually is on staff at the hospital he admits me to. He much prefers to directly admit me himself so I don't have to go through the ER, which isn't horrible, it's just a REALLY long process. I mean, does your pdoc doc recommend a particular hospital since not all hospitals have psychiatric units? Just seems like he is not being nearly as helpful and directive about this as he could be.

[depressedalaskan]

Going out is a good idea but drinking is not. You do not have to drink alcohol but the company might help. I am glad that you have your aunt to help that means so much. Er's are a long wait so if you can pick the hospital with the psychword it would be better. You will learn alot from them if you are admitted. My biggest fears of a psychword is what I saw on TV. Not true. You are not in with a bunch of crazy people but in hands of people who really understand. Good luck keep posting.

[vanessaG]

I was wondering the same thing. I didn't know if I was being overly sensitive or what. When I called to ask what hospital I should go to his receptionist was like 'he doesn't do hospital work' I was like 'huh? Wth does that mean?' & she told me to come in and I talked w/ pdoc and he's like if you are gonna go go to.....and reccomended one. (25 min away...but it is a good one..)

I was feeling a bit better for a cole hrs and worked off that n forced myself to go on that date (which was horrible by the way & lasted 45 min) and I went home n went to bed.

This morning I feel ok sofar but for sure if I go down I'm going in soooo well see. Seems like my pdoc AND t don't really give a ****. A pt comes in saying they are scared whts gonna happen and feel like they're gonna do something & they dnt seem like they care which triggers me even more. Ugghhh i swear I feel like I'm all alone fighting this huge monster that won't go away... :/

Originally Posted by farmergirl

Can I ask why your pdoc did not directly admit you to a hospital? I suppose he has no hospital affiliation? My pdoc actually is on staff at the hospital he admits me to. He much prefers to directly admit me himself so I don't have to go through the ER, which isn't horrible, it's just a REALLY long process. I mean, does your pdoc doc recommend a particular hospital since not all hospitals have psychiatric units? Just seems like he is not being nearly as helpful and directive about this as he could be.

[pgrundy]

Can you get in to see another pdoc who does do hospital work? It seems like you need a doctor like that. Maybe the one you have is not right for you. Getting the right doctor can make all the difference in the world.

Can you current pdoc get you in to see another pdoc who understands severe depression, meds, and works with the hospitals? Sometimes they can get you an appointment faster than you can on your own.

It doesn't sound like he is being as helpful as he could be. I mean, he could call the hospital ahead, or call a colleague and set you up to see someone. Just, here's some names, good luck--that isn't really right.

[vanessaG]

I have an appt on mon at 9:30am w/ pdoc. You have a very good point pgrundy.
I'm going to speak to him about it and do some research work to see what pdocs in my area do hospital work.

I agree I feel good right now probably because my girlfriend and her bf have been hanging out with mE all day. But on Friday I really am not sure why I wasn't in the hospital. I didn't wanna go but it's very concerning to me that when I reached out he didn't step up like I feel he should have as my pdoc.

Friday I think the only I reason I got thu is because my daughters, my aunt and you guys....
Im gonna wait till my girl leaves and see how I feel. If not good I'm going to hospital. I'm not playing around any more but hopefully I'll stay feeling a lot Better than I have been.

[Resident Bipolar]

I always left the decision to the last minute...the last couple of admissions it wasn't my choice and I was threatened with a section, but before that, I'd only notice from the level and intensity of my suicidal thoughts.

With me, I'm used to having mild suicidal thoughts every now and then. It's when I get to meticulously planning out the details that I realize I need some help other than outpatient therapy.

RB ♥