[crazylife]

My best mate has sent me spiraling out of of control into a deep dark hole. Everything was fine until she had one to many and all of a sudden i've left her in so much **** even though i gave her a hours warning i was not getting the bus with her now. How can i have caused this? She still got home but when she was leaving she said bye and gave my mate a hug but ignored me completely. I'm so close to cutting right now feel like **** even though i know it's not really my fault. I don't want to see her again to put myself in this position again. Is this self-fish? I just can't see me coping tonight not to mention another night. I feel so low and if i get through tonight i will be treating myself tomorrow. Why do close mates make it harder, not all of them but most. Hate this!!!!

[stern]

At different times, all of them make it harder CrazyLife. Even being the best friends, people don't understand. But you should know that she is not the only reason of your life. If she did something wrong, she should realize, why do you harm yourself for a person who don't care? I know the intense feelings of being triggered. Such self-centerd and empowering thoughts sometimes help in coping the urges.
Stay safe and sound!

[crazylife]

She doesn't even remember it but i sure do and have to deal with the consequences today. Thanks makes sense tbh.