[jmo531]

First off I want to say that I have not posted on these boards in years, although I come back from time to time and lurk around, read, maybe respond.

I'm feeling really alone tonight. Lately really. I have been crying over every little thing and have been lashing out at my husband accusing him of cheating; although he has given me no reason to believe he has been. But my insecurities are driving us both mad.

Like a good little girl I go to see my T once a week and lately Im back on the downward spiral. I hate it. All I want to do is retreat to my comfy cave and stay there for a while.

I have been at this depression thing for a while, 7 years on meds so far and there is no end in sight. Im just getting worse. My life passes me by each day and I do nothing to cease any opportunity to make myself feel better.

As sad as this sounds, all I have is my husband. He is my best friend. Without him; I couldnt even imagine my life. He just is part of me. So him going out tonight leaves me feeling abandoned, alone, left behind. I'm just feeling so insecure and I have no idea where it's coming from.

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by jmo531

I have been at this depression thing for a while,

Do you know the root cause of your pain?

First of all... long time no see hun. I've not been here much the last couple of years either. I remember ages ago, back in 2006 when I first joined here - you were one of the members I 'talked' to first. I'm so sorry life is a struggle with doubts playing with your mind. Depression is a monster. Do you try to take care of YOU? Easier said than done - I know! Do you have anything you can dive into, that can give you some inspiration to go on day by day? Maybe an interest you've sort of forgotten about because you've had to put it aside can be taken up again?

My thoughts are with you, 'old' friend!



/Former P-L

[gafferoo]

I am with you. I hate the random nights of crying and feeling alone. What sucks even more is when something simple, like a song can set it off as well.

[jmo531]

Thanks guys!!! I'm not sure what the root of my pain is, seems like a montage of everything.

Today I got up and did some things for me. 25 minutes of stress relieving yoga and a short bike ride. Man was it hard though. I had to push through a ton of **** to do it but in the end I felt better for it and for that I am proud of myself.