Having a really rough night

I'm having a difficult night. I fell asleep after work (just b/c it was a stressful day at work and, well, I just wanted to sleep)!

I now feel like I won't be able to fall asleep. I'm worrying about stupid stuff in my relationship, and I'm tired of it.

I am supposed to visit my ailing grandmother this weekend. She's older and forgetting things. She taught me how to sew and we have a lot in common...she often refers to me as her best friend. It's sweet. I just kinda don't want to go. It's a very long trip, and I'm always happy once I get up there. Argh, I also have to bring my dog to my parent's house for the weekend before the trip, and that's more traveling too. I think this is what is causing me stress - the trip over my head. I feel horrible that I don't want to go visit, like I'm not grateful for her or something. She's such a sweetie.

This relationship thing is also causing me issue. It just isn't sitting right with me. I can't seem to get the thoughts out of my head. These are the types of things that I will focus on and cause my anxiety the next few days. Literally, I just wish my life could be easier.

I'm supposed to visit the b/f tomorrow to see his kid's basketball game tomorrow night. I don't think he's mad at me, per say, but I don't want to travel the hour to see him if he's upset. It's almost like I don't want to go to bed, b/c tomorrow will come, and I'll have to face the fact that I am a bad grandaughter and a girlfriend who just isn't cutting it.

What do you do while you drive? One thing I hated about long drives was being alone in my head the whole way. Then I found audio books. You can buy them or borrow them from your local library. They come on CD and Cassette, and at the library there usually is no cost to borrow. You can choose any genre you like and there are short and long ones. Even if your concentration is not so great, or you zone out for a while, you can still zone back into the book and either back it up or go on from there.

Also, having a new book, or some short stories, to look forward to will likely take the dread out of the drive to Grandma's.

Thanks Bugs - I usually just listen to music. I tried to listen to a book on tape once, but I coudn't get into it. Maybe b/c it was a complicated book? I think maybe I use the same part of my brain to drive as I do to read. Maybe I'll give it a second try. I do have a 3 hour trip.

I think at this point, the drive will be left thinking about my relationship issues, which is not what I want to dwell on either....