[justme62]

Having relationship problems. I dunno know what to say. I feel that I am not good enough for the ladies I care abou, they like a lot in the beginning then a month later they want to be just friends. I cannot figure if I am crowding them or too emotonal alittle moody (never mean or disrspectful). It hurts too much sometimes. I see a therapist but thngs don't change. I get tired and all I end ukp doing is drinking and dulling the pain. The only thing that keeps me from collapsing is I have a decent job, but my depression is having an effect on the job now. How do you just plug away and not feel so down and move on to the next lady? I duno.

[Chopin99]

Originally Posted by justme62

Having relationship problems. I dunno know what to say. I feel that I am not good enough for the ladies I care abou, they like a lot in the beginning then a month later they want to be just friends. I cannot figure if I am crowding them or too emotonal alittle moody (never mean or disrspectful). It hurts too much sometimes. I see a therapist but thngs don't change. I get tired and all I end ukp doing is drinking and dulling the pain. The only thing that keeps me from collapsing is I have a decent job, but my depression is having an effect on the job now. How do you just plug away and not feel so down and move on to the next lady? I duno.

I am a person with borderline traits. I tend to turn people off by being too clingy. You mention that you may be crowding the ladies you're dating. This may be the issue. Also if you are "moody", people who don't know you very well may misinterpret the moodiness as disinterest on your part.

My T has said to back off from people; in the beginning of relationships, don't "overshare", don't act needy, don't crowd, and don't be obsessive. I can't tell you how to move on to the next person and I might be completely wrong, but just some thoughts. Good luck!

[unaluna]

How much are you drinking? You mention it rather casually, but if women have had problems with substance abusing partners before, they might be over sensitive to it now. Is your T aware of your using drink to dull the pain, as you say? Have you tried AA, or the Drinkwise program? I know "everybody does it", but then again, some people just don't want booze in their lives.

[doggiedo]

Maybe these women just aren't a good fit for you? Just a thought. Sometimes we take things personally when things end. I tend to try and remind myself that it might just not have been the right person.

You wait - you want to make sure the girl is the right one. I mean you don't want to settle - you deserve that. Everyone does.