[JFarson]

Recently it struck me that I'm not really capable of feeling emotions. A friend of mine died a few months ago and I didn't cry or even feel sad; I just went about my normal routine. I loved a girl who recently left the state to start a new life elsewhere and I didn't care about that, either. I converted to Christianity about a year or so ago and I'm already falling flat because I don't care enough to put in the energy, not to mention I don't feel guilt or faith or love. Hell, it's an investment of energy just to write this.

I have no idea if there's a word or something for what I'm suffering. I used to have depression, a long time ago (maybe four or five years ago), and I don't recall ever having felt really strong emotion since then -- just passing things like anxiety, irritation, or contentment. Most of the time I'm just in a state of emotional flat-line. It's like I'm an emotional leper or something.

Does anyone what I can do to end this? I don't want to go through life feeling like an emotionless zombie.

[LCRose]

I'm sure no expert, but it sounds like you've developed this cocoon around your heart as a defense mechanism. You don't want to hurt again so you don't let emotion, positive or negative in. I'm not sure how you convince yourself to let your heart take chances, but I do hope you find a way -- find a passion.

i agree with the above and i also feel that you may still be depressed. how about talking to your doc about it? xoxoxo pat