Googling Sucks.

So. Felt suicidal. Been years. Today more so. I know I don't want to die. Yet I do. So what I did was type in suicide into google to scare myself.

.
..
....

And hell did I scare myself. All those images of really messed up (like physically mangled) dead people. Now I can't go to bed. Crap. Do other people do this too? To keep themselves alive? o_o.

I haven't been suicidal much since google came out, but I just tried Binging "suicide" & seen what you mean.

Is there something especially effective for you about this sort of shock therapy as a deterrent? I'm all for whatever works, but I'm just wondering why this would work and crisis lines not?

Just please take care and be safe. Lots of generous, caring people here, willing to listen.

(((Colourbars))) keep posting and spending time here, it's a really good place.

having an online persona gives me the power to stay hidden. to call someone feel shameful.