[desperado]

I've fought (uni)polar depression for many, many years. Been on meds for over 20. Meds seem to help cap some of my anger and help me sleep. They seem to work for several months, but then they stop working & I crash again. That's where I am now. 12 years ago, I had meds & DBT therapy for four years which really helped me, but I am so broke now & I cannot afford therapy anymore.

I'm so hopeless. I'm on disability, can't pay my bills, and cannot work. I have very, very, very little energy. Some days I can't get out of bed.

My psychiatrist barely listened to me so I stopped my appointments. I stopped working as of last week, but I could only manage very part-time work anyway with the extreme fatigue and exhaustion.

I'm having a very rough time. I don't see any future for myself. How am I supposed to support myself if I don't even have the energy to work???? I don't even have my health. If you don't have your health, you don't have anything. Friends and family don't understand.....

I'm so hopeless. This is no way to live.

I can only offer moral support (sorry I'm not very good at it) and encouragement and obvious suggestions.
If you've been on medication 20 year then you must have had depression for even longer. Your strength and will to fight are amazing. With that much experience you don't need me to tell you that sometimes you just have to keep slogging on until things brighten a little. I hope you'll reconsider seeing your psychiatrist. That and your inner strength seem to be your best resources until something else comes along.
Can you talk a little about DBT and how it helped you?

[Leed]

Bless your heart. Sounds like you're really having a rough time.

The psychiatrist that you had wasn't helping you. Obviously you need a DIFFERENT one -- one that WILL listen to you!! Interview a different one, and see what gut feeling you have. Trust your instincts -- they're usually right. By the way, you CAN interview a therapist! You have to be sure that they will "cut the mustard." LOL

Once you begin feeling better, hopefully you'll be able to go back to work, at least part-time. I wish you the very best. Please take good care of yourself. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Suki22]

you can find a therapist or psychiatrist that will do therapy for very little money. there are a lot of them that are making enough money with their insured patients that they can afford to take on some extra cases--much like pro-bono work for lawyers. do you have a person that you work with for your disability? they may be able to point you in the right direction. otherwise check the following website for therapists in your area and look for the ones that have "sliding fee" and start calling. it would benefit you greatly to talk to someone, plus, it would get you out of the house once in a while...

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

[Anneinside]

I hope you have accessed all the help you are eligible for that can help stretch your disability income. There is Section 8 housing in which you only pay 1/3 of your income for rent no matter how much the actual rent is. The government pays the rest. Food stamps - now actually looks like a credit card so it isn't embarrassing to use (Way back when I had actual food stamps) If you get a case manager from the county mental health services, he/she can help you access help.