[PuzzledPurple]

I have been struggling with depression for a long time. I think it's really bad and it stops me from doing most everything. I finally decided to see someone. I just got back from my second session and I really don't think that this is going to work out. My first session ended a little early and I thought that was fine. But my second session was only about twenty minutes even though I paid for the fifty minute hour. I'm really frustrated because my therapist just kept looking at the clock. I could tell she didn't really know what to do with me. It's really hard for me to talk about my issues and I was crying like the whole time. I'm just not comfortable with her yet. I'm the kind of person that needs to be asked questions to expand on things. I didn't know what to say. Am I supposed to come up with my own topics? She wants me to be social and ask people to do things with me. But never has she asked me if I'm comfortable doing that or why I haven't done it in the first place. You can't just tell me to make friends and everything will be fixed. That's something that I obviously could have come to on my own. I just feel like no one would want to be friends with me. I'm fat, quiet, serious. I'm not any fun. She started to monologue random "bumper stick" type sentiments at the end to stretch it a little. She doesn't know what to do with me. She just told me to do things like get exercise and try to be social. If it was that easy, I would have done that a long time ago. I just don't have the energy or motivation. Nothing seems important. I'm going to see my doctor about antidepressants. Maybe that will help. I just don't know what to do. I really thought therapy would help me. But it doesn't feel like she cares or even understands what could be going on. Should I try to find another therapist or are they all this way? How do I stop seeing her? I really don't know what to do.

[carrie_ann]

the way she kept looking at the clock ... i personally would get another therapist, she shouldn't be doing that.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, PuzzledPurple!

Originally Posted by PuzzledPurple

Should I try to find another therapist or are they all this way? How do I stop seeing her?

Therapists are definitely not all that way. Some percentage are, unfortunately.

You are the customer. You are not obligated to continue with this person (or you shouldn't be). I'm not sure of the details, but inform your insurance or referring doctor now this isn't working. If you would like to try a different therapist ("T" for short), have them assign you another.

Psychotherapy Forum
How to Choose a Therapist - by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

[lancetrot]

Really sorry for you.
Better change your therapist. It is the duty of the therapist to win the confidence of the patient before he/ she starts the treatment. And it is not making you any more comfortable with this kind of attitude from this therapist. Good luck to find a good one.

[Nammu]

Bring this up, even if you have to print this out or write it down and take it with you. Discuss it and see if that helps this issue go forward. Sometimes the greatest therapy is that which hast to be worked at. But if talking about this issue does not resolve the problem then yes look for a T that would be a better fit. This problem may be indicative of the problems you have with making friends in life which is why I say to try resolving it here first, before just moving on. Good luck.

[likewater]

Ick. That wouldnt make ANYBODY feel better. ((((Puzzledpurple)))) find a different therapist asap. Ps. I like antidepressants too
I do both myself.

[dailyhealing]

I like what Sidestepper said! I think that often therapy is a safe place to kind of work those things out. It gives you practice sharing feelings and asking for what you want/need etc... And the other thing that could come out of it is that you will see how your therapist reacts.

But I do also feel it is weird that the sessions have been so short. And also, I also would say that it is the therapists job to begin to create the safe environment for sharing.

I hope you keep posting! I'd love to hear how you are doing and what you decide to do!

[IceCreamKid]

I hope you feel better soon. You might try printing out what you told us here, and giving it to your therapist in one more session; ask what her treatment plan is likely to be for you, and tell her you are not comfortable with her yet. It is up to her to help you get comfortable. I like quiet people, I don't care what they weigh.

[Mike_J]

My therapist has helped me an amazing amount, I wouldn't give up on therapy but it does seem that you need to find another therapist. As to how to stop seeing your therapist you could just call and cancel your next appointment and start looking for a new therapist, or you could go to your next appointment and ask your therapist for a referral for someone who might be better able to help you.

[Bmee2]

When i started looking for a T i visited two or three. The one i finally chose was the only one who asked me what i thought. i was not sure if i thought at all, but she was the only one interested in what i thought, if we could work together.

Can you say to this T you do not think she wants to work with you? If she asks why you think that, you can tell her you think she is not interested because she constantly looks at the clock.

When you find the right T something inside should feel comforted...kind of like a slipper. While you maybe scared and depressed and struggling to talk, the right T for you will feel comfortable...maybe scared too because that T is really listening to you and might really see YOU.

The T you are seeing now seems to be doing things to push you away. If you cannot address this with this T then perhaps you might look for another T.

Those are just my thoughts on the subject. i wish you the very best.

[PuzzledPurple]

I just want to thank each and every one of you for the kind words and support. It is really helpful to get advice from those with experience.

Sidestepper, I really appreciate the valid point you brought up. You are completely right but I really don’t think that it is going to work with her. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. Most likely I’ll start looking for another T and cancel my appointment with her in the mean time.

I am definitely interested in finding someone who is willing to build a relationship with me, and work on why these things are happening and how I can change them. I’ll probably post an update. Thanks again.