.............

i am really tired from crying my nose hurts too, all i ever wanted is to die no i dont want to be happy i want to die, thats it.
i dont know how many pills that i have to take to fiil up my soul, i was thinking maybe if someone anyone love me i wiould not hate my self so much idk
why iam here if no one wants me ?if anyone could choose they would prefer someone perfect
iam sorry iam not perfect
one thing that i dont understand is why iam still here if iam useless, and unwanted
Why ?
please i cannot take it anymore ..please i want this to be over

darkness has consumed my soul and there is nothing could console me but death

I wish I had something brillant to say, but I don't. All I can say is I've been there, and it has gotten better. Are you seeing a therapist? Mine has really helped me.

Please don't do anything drastic.

Ugh, Puffyprue, NO ONE is perfect. Depression lies to you. Tells you that you are worthless an d no one loves you etc . . . Those are
lies. You are in deep dark depression right now and it will get better and you are loved and lovable. Please stay safe. Call suicide hotline or go to er or call your T if you have one. May angels surround you. Hugs.

I dont think it would ever get better, my life always in the dark
No i dont seeing anyone i was but its not working i think cannot be fix
Thnak you for your support

Iknow depression lies but its not depression Its the truth my mom always said if she could choose she dont want someone like me and everyone who said they will be there always left for someone better than me ..they never choose me

i undertand it must be so hard to love somone like me if i were them i dont think i could
i wont kill my self right now yes i ve been so suicdal lately but i wont kill my self here i dont want my student get traumatized not here and not right now ...

Join the chat room puffyprue - it will make you feel less alone. And someone in there may have great advice for you.

((((((( Puffyprue! )))))))

The greater the heart, the deeper the agony...

usually that what i do join the chat and just watched people talking so i wont feel so alone but not tonight

PuffyPrue-your mom was cruel and WRONG. As far as people leaving you, unless people get married, relationships run their course ad people move on- it' s not a reflection on you. Because you are in a such a dark place i know you you arent going to agree you are lovable but i assure you, YOU ARE VALUABLE, LOVABLE AND WORTHWHILE. You mentioned your students. You dont want to
kill yourself i front of them. They would be traumatized if you killed yourself period. You have a responsibility to yourself, to your students and to those of us on pc to get help. We love you, PuffyPrue.

puffyprue - I had a major meltdown last night. I joined the chat room and had several people comforting me, caring, trying to help. I was so bad I could hardly type or read the words between my tears. I eventually went into Private Chat with one person who really talked me down.

You can find that in chat too. You just have to try. Please try.

i dont think she is cruel and wrong she just saying the truth as bitter as it might sounds if i were here i would feel the same, when you expecting a baby you must want them to be cute healthy and everything perfect and i bet everybody want the perfect one
i just dont seen why iam here if i am someone that no body want?

i live in the small village and iam a teacher and if they found my dead body here my student will get traumatized and i dont want to be responsible for that and i would never do that to them

thank you for your encouragement

people will ask what's wrong ? and i dont know how to explain it to them

I didn't know how to explain it either. I felt like my story was too long for them to understand what happened. But I did my best to answer their questions. Then I laid it all out for the one person.

I'm glad you have your students to keep you safe. You have worth.

i really dont feel like answering any question right now i just want to cry and cuddling with my doodgy sadly he is not here with me

i dont want they remember me as a ghost that haunt this place , iam gonna leaves next week tho after that i have nothing to lose

PuffyPrue-- your mom WAS cruel and wrong. Most parents see their children as perfect because their hearts are so filled with love for them. Your mom was sadly lacking in the maternal department and i'm so sorry.

dont be sorry, maybe its because when i was born i am not coming with guideline about how to raise cripple daughter

I still have my moments, too.

And what a cruel attitude your mother had!

So sorry.

Billi

I'm so sorry about your mother's cruelty. You're loved here!

((((((((((((((((( puffyprue ))))))))))))))))