[Photo_Girl_Jenn]

so i am having a meeting with a pdoc and a resident pdoc on tuesday... i ask some people about things they think is important to bring up or for suggestions on what to say... here is a list i came up with... please let me know what you think and if there is anything else you think i should add or even remove for that matter


Past medications- effexor (psychosis), welbutrin(memory loss) celexa(worked) zyprexa(woked gave bad shakes) Clanazapam (took shakes away and helped with anxiety) celexa stopped working last treatment.

Sleep pattern I have a few days where all I do is sleep followed by a few days where I barley sleep at all

Mood, I am very moody, I tend to swing moods very fast over small things, when I get up set or cry I get angry with self then I tend to have times of memory loss, and almost impulsively try to hurt my self, but I usually catch my self before I do something too stupid…

I have very little energy or concentration… I spend all my energy on trying to keep my self safe… and cant seem to complete the simple tasks like even just general self care… I am scared that one of these times where I have what I call one of my fits that I am not going to catch my self and its going to go too far…I feel like if I had even a little bit of time where I didn’t have to focus so hard of keeping my self safe that I would be able to focus more on the small things and getting my self better…. But I find my self constantly just trying to talk my self out of doing stupid things like jumping off over passes or strangling my self, or from over dosing… its like there is two of me one who just wants to die and one who just wants to get better…. And the two are constantly battling with each other. I feel like everyone thinks its just as simple as snapping a finger… I know I tend to down play how I am feeling and maybe that’s half the problem, I just don’t really trust others to tell them just how bad it is and just how much of a battle it is every moment I am awake with my self trying to keep my self alive from one moment to the next…

Eating… can vary I am rarely hungry… I force self to eat once a day to once every second day… but once in a while I will get hungry and I binge and eat a lot…


thanks anyone who took the time to read this hope it does not trigger anyone! any advise would be much appreciated!

[Idiot17]

So far its good, anything else u have to bring up? Gluck at your appt.

[Photo_Girl_Jenn]

not that i can think of i think the biggest this is not feelin safe with my self and lieing to the people i have been seeing telling them i do feel safe by my self...then using all my energy on trying to keep self safe.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Muzzymcgee! Great list; those are all things they need to know.

Originally Posted by muzzymcgee

I am scared that one of these times where I have what I call one of my fits that I am not going to catch my self and its going to go too far…

If you haven't already done so, consider offering accounts of a couple of your "fits" so they understand what they are and what you experience during them.

[Photo_Girl_Jenn]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome, Muzzymcgee! Great list; those are all things they need to know.

If you haven't already done so, consider offering accounts of a couple of your "fits" so they understand what they are and what you experience during them.

well i am not sure how to explain it other then i get fusterated and angry with my self i dont know why i get so angry with my self but i do and it quickly turns to a rage then before i even realize it its like i lose myself, i lose time and space and memeory, i ususally realize what i am doing at the last possible second. then i pull my self to safty, but after i am safe and calmed down i slowly can recall what happened but i cant recall how i got to that point or what feeling or emotions i had at the time i just am able to barley recall what i did or where i psycially went.. its scarey!!!!

[Photo_Girl_Jenn]

im so fusterated right now... i dont know why... but i feel like i am about to just snap... my head feels tingly because i am that fusterated... i feel llike i am going to over the deep end...

[Rohag]

Muzzymcgee, your well-being is far more important than other people's convenience. If you feel unsafe, please call emergency services or go to an emergency room.

[Photo_Girl_Jenn]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Muzzymcgee, your well-being is far more important than other people's convenience. If you feel unsafe, please call emergency services or go to an emergency room.

i am safe...