[Alice_]

Hi everyone,

I just joined this forum, I'm not really sure why yet, to be honest...I guess I just really want to talk to somebody or something. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm going through a period of depression, and I can't really tell when it started but it definitely got worse in the past month, and I think it might be due to a huge love disappointement. I know it sounds kind of stupid when it's said like this, but I was depressed before and I'm depressed again now that this thing's over. And the worst part is that I think that in order to feel better again I should really let it out and talk to someone, but I can't because I can't share what happened with the people I know since it involves cheating and some of my closest friends.

Also, although this might be what triggered my latest state of depression, it's not the only thing that makes me feel hopeless in my life.

I get through huge mood swings, usually several times a day, and I can't concentrate or finish long term projects, because I just don't feel motivated enough to do anything at all. Sometimes I'm a little scared of myself because I feel really violent, and even though I'm pretty sure I would never hurt someone I just don't know how to get rid of all the frustration that keeps cumulating. For instance, a couple of days ago I was having a little argument with a woman I don't know because of a parking spot, and suddenly I just lost it and started shouting at her so loud that people came to their windows to check what was going on, and I'm pretty sure I really scared her, even though I had no intention of hurting her or anything like that.

Everything I do feels like a waste of time and I don't know how to get rid of these feelings I have inside. I exercise a little, three times a week, and that helps, but I feel that's not really the answer.

I would really like to get some advice or to simply share my experience with someone...thanks

[Leed]

Hi Alice ~ Yes, you do sound depressed, but there also sounds like there some issues behind it that you've got "stuffed" inside -- therefore, the anger. "Depression is anger turned inward." So evidently you're angry at yourself about something, but aren't sure what it is. A good therapist would be able to sort that out for you -- or would enable YOU to bring it out so that YOU could recognize it.

Why not get an appointment with a therapist and begin therapy? It would sure do you some good - and at the same time, relieve your depression! I've been thru therapy, and it certainly helped me!

I hope you'll think about it. It's definitely worth it. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[DannyN]

Well you pretty much described the symptoms of depression. The one thing you said that really struck me is when you say it sounds kind of stupid. I think I've said that a million times.
One thing you have to ask yourself is if this is long term or short term.
Do you usually bounce back pretty fast or do you get stuck in an endless cycle. Maybe you can work through this or maybe it will destroy your life. I wish I had gotten help before things got so bad for me. You don't have to suffer for years like alot of us have.
I hope you get through this and if you feel like you need help do not hesitate to go to a Dr. or counselor. You can even look for a local support group, I live in a large city and there are a few. None of them are near enough unforunately but you may get lucky.
Hope you get well, Dan

[Mike_J]

I used to have issues with frustration building and building until it became ANGER. It was never directed at people usual happened when I was doing what should have been a rather simple task and it JUST WOULDN'T GO RIGHT.

The thing that helped me is therapy, I learned to identify this as a process, learning to see the process as it was happening, recognizing when this "process" was starting and learning to stop in the early stages when it is still manageable.