[dreamer62604]

I'm sorry for the pain i've caused, not only to me, but to all those around me. I'm sorry for being this way, I don't mean to, it just kind of happened. I don't know what caused it, maybe it was all the years of taunting and teasing from my peers, maybe it was the betrayal(sp) by my so called friends. I'm really not sure what started it, what exactly it was that made me the way that I am today. However, somehow i got here, and now i have to live with it, and so does everyone else, so i'm sorry, i'm sorry that i am this way, i wish i could change it. I thought i had, but turns out that was only a temporary vacation from my real self. it was a nice vaction none-the-less, but still. It's over now. So, i am stuck here, watching the world go by, watching people around me hurt and be sick and in pain, and....there isn't anything that i can do, so i just sit and stew about it all, and say that i'm sorry. which i am, i wish i could change things, make them better, for everyone, as well as myself, but i can't, i tried but it was a lie. a horrible lie that has finally come to an end, and now the cold hard truth stares me in the face, harsh and hurtful, killing me from the inside out. that's what this kind of truth does, it kills you. lies hurt, but the truth, real truth can kill. so again i say i'm sorry.

[kvinneakt]

Hi. I have not been reading much here and missed your other posts. I am sorry you feel bad. Hang on friend. It does always seem to get better after a while.

<font color=blue>[b] Wherever you go, there you are[b]<font color=blue>

[krzyk101]

Hi,

I just want to say you do not need to apologize for something that you can not control. It is NOT your fault. Depression is something I have to lied to myself. Then I realized it wasn't me lying it was that dirty awful enemy of mine the depression. Depression is a big liar it can tell a person that they are worthless, that noone understands, that were ugly, that things will never change. you have done nothing wrong, you are somebody, you are special, you are a good person,
Depression is a lying monster, and I am sorry to here it has been after ya.
you can beat it.
I hope you get to feeling better--

krzykris

KRZYKRIS

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[Willow]

Welcome here dreamer
Hey... I have a change of perspective for you. Have you ever considered that your segment of feeling good is really your "real self" peeking through and a break in the depression rather than thinking your real self is the depression. I wonder what happened to ease off the symptoms? The symptoms certainly are not your true self and if they eased up once, it can happen again! Please have hope and examine the combination of events, habits, body cycles, that led to the break in your depression. Do you have a psychiatrist that can help you analyze this pattern?

HUGS if wanted.

[dreamer62604]

Thank you all for responding. I have a therapist, of sorts, but right now i don't even think that she can help me. i haven't seen her lately, i feel that i need to, however i really don't see what she can do for me. i don't see how she can understand my downfalls, which have become very bad lately....oh well, thanks anyway.