[oskirrazkal]

I was placed on administrative leave today while my boss confers with the HR department regarding whether I will be fired or not. I have spent 22 years building a successful reputation, but have noted that the past 4-5 years have been extremely unsatisfying. I'm completely burned out. I'm single & can turn to no one for help. My family is not close. I have depleated my resources financially. I think about what is worth this suffering. I have a little dog, Lola, who needs me. That's it, but it's enough to feel like I'd rather come up with a plan to turn life into a better place to live. I have no idea. I'm exhausted, humiliated & terrified that my aging brain can not do what I once did. I feel completely alone & I am terrified.

[f.reliant]

Sorry it was such a bad, bad day. My similar bad day was six weeks ago. This is all new to you. Give youself so time to process this. It gets a little better and a little better.

Little dogs are so wonderful. My Taffy is getting spoiled with me home. She has been my one constant with very few demands.

Resources are depleated too. Getting older too. Still, I'll bet if we tried, we could find "the three good things about today".

The immidiate plan is to put (or should I say drag) one foot in front of the other. Still working on a better plan.

"Do What You Can, With What You Have, Where You Are" –Teddy Roosevelt

Its taking me a while, and I'm not really feeling it, but on the good days am trying to keep busy reorganizing the house and reclaiming my once beautiful yard.

Stay in touch. Keep reaching out. It helps! I hope with each passing day all this becomes less terrifying for you.

Best,
faith reliant