[layla11]

I feel bad about being off work for my depression. It was very bad. I'm on several meds now. I wake up thinking about work. Feeling guilty, I was off last year also. I dont know part of me doesnt want to try to go back it was so bad this time around and what must people think. I try to tell myself I dont care and tell others that also but I do. The other part want to go to work and not sure if I'm crazy because I did this last year and this year was even worse. I dont know if this make any since to anyone. I have seen Phyciatrist for about 20 years I have been diagnosed with depression, bipolar, and borderline tendancys.

[regretful]

It makes perfect sense. Depression is a terrible illness that sometimes does not, despite our best efforts, relent. I hope that you can find the help you need here.

Are you seeing a therapist?

Can't help it, but these are all the side effects of depression.

Hope you can figure out some kind of balance in your life, to at least some good to better function.

GL

[layla11]

Yes, I have a therapist, I was suppose to see him yesterday, but had a medical procedure I had to have done. I'm suppose to see him next week, I have to reschedule again because they scheduled a surgery that I have to have done for that day. Its the only day the doctor works in this Hospital close to home. The therapist is not working out anyway, I find myself mad at him most the time. I m kinda chuckeling when I say thist, I know its not funny. Anyway, thanks for your hope.

Don't be ashamed of what people think in work Layla, its not your fault you have this awful disease...if you or any of us had a choice we would get rid of our depression and be happy but sometimes it just won't go away. If the people at work don't understand how awful it is then its their problem and ignorance. I hope you can focus on getting yourself back to some normality