[mynameisX]

Hello, I read few threads on this forum and I saw that you give great feedback to the questions. This is why I decided to write in order to get second opinion about a personal problem.

I am feeling depressed and lonely. I am not happy with my life even though I understand that I "don't have the right" to feel that way because I have no financial, health or other important problems. Life was good to me, I am well educated, with a good job and relatively good looking. I'm 29 years old.

Even though I have no obvious problems in communication, on the long term I tend to push people away from me. I am not a bad person but rather a explosive and moody. I push away my friends with my strict behaviour and I can't maintain a good relationship with a girlfriend because I feel like we don't match or I don't like them. Sometimes I think that I am asking from others too much.

I catch myself spending more and more time on myown and working more hours. I understand 100% how wrong this is and it is me who is doing it all wrong. I make bad choices on my personal life. I have less close friends now and even them start getting bored of me. I am not depressed all the time, but as far as I know this could escalate and get worse.

I honestly can't understand why i feel this way. I know I should not, yet it affects not only my mentality but also my behaviour towards others. All in all I feel like the years pass by and I fail to connect with other people. Again I understand how stupid this is because I have really no serious problems. The main issue is my character.

What the hell is wrong with me? What would you suggest me? Should I contact a psychologist or I can resolve this on my own?

I apologise for the lengthy message. I hope I will get a response from you.

[dg1983]

From what I read about "not having the right" to feel the way you do, it seems like you are feeling guilty about feeling depressed? Keep in mind depression affects all types of people and you are not the only one. Working is keeping busy but it's work. Try to take care of yourself, do something that is just for you, like going for a walk or reading a good book etc. Do you have any idea what may have triggered your feelings? A counsellor may help you find out.

[mynameisX]

Concerning what you mentioned about guilt, I believe that I don't have real problems like other people, so obviously I should be able to handle the minor issues without a problem.

All these started since I broke up from a long term relationship. It was a joint decision. We spent a lot of time sharing and doing things together and I miss that. To be honest I don't be the person, but the companionship and the quality of relationship that we had. Back then I did not spend that much time alone.

[Odee]

Anyone can be affected by depression. There doesn't have to be a traumatic or heart-wrenching experience behind it. Being alone is enough of a good reason to feel the way you do.

I am happy that you have taken the time to think about how your behavior affects your relationships. Whenever I feel guilty for being neglectful of my relationship with someone, I make myself listen to them attentively and allow them to talk about what you want to talk about. As a life long introvert, I've learned that showing enthusiasm to hear what others want to say will rope in a lot of friendships. (This is assuming that these are people who would listen to you if you chose to talk about yourself...)

If your depression is not too deeply entrenched, maybe a few sessions with a therapists will be enough to identify what causes you to the feel the way you do and what you can do about it. If you do have troubling depression issues, then you'd need to be seeing a therapist anyway. So, I think it's a good idea!

[possum220]

You sound quite well adjusted. Reality is that most people don't have lots close friends. Might be nice to find something that would make you happy. Maybe a few sessions with a therapist might help to clear the fog a bit too. If depression is lurking they might be able to help. Good Luck

[f.reliant]

Dear X, life is too short. I hope that you will go see a professional in the near future to best make the determination if you suffer from clinical depression. Odee is correct. You can have every facet of your life be seemingly idealic and still suffer from major depressive episodes. The good news is that you don't have to suffer through this entirley alone. Medicine and in some cases ongoing therapy go a long way in helping one manage depression.

In the meantime, this forum is a resource! Keep up posted and good luck.

[mynameisX]

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate your advises. No I don't have clinical depression, but still I'm affected at several times. Based on what you say, having a few sessions will probably help me not only resolve my current situation but also face the real problems of my behavior that are causing it. Again thanks for all the support, it's such a great think to know that people are there to help.