And back down....

My life is full of ups and downs and turn arounds to where I feel I am at square one. At the moment I am feeling I am at a stand still on my emotions and feelings. I know my depression is a HUGE factor and until I can gain control on it again there is not much I can do. Since I got sick and been waiting on an operation, that has been postponed perminitally till further notice. I think the biggest problem is the fact that I have no insurance, tried to go for state insurance and they said since the surgery "might" be able to cure me of what I have they will not give me medical insurance. So that has been weighing heavily on my mind. One of the things that worry me the most is that I am not sure it is cancerous or not. This I know has put me into a bigger depression. I know another thing is I cant get my meds that I need to be able to control this depression. I am on medication for it but since I have no insurance and stuff I cant afford to by my medication either. My parents are helping as much as they can but I cant ask them to pay for my medication or over 19K for the surgery that I need. Both are tooo expensive to do and stuff. I feel worthless atm because I cant work because of what I go through constantly (sever headaches, nausea, dizziness, just to name a couple) I am a customer service agent been working in call centers forever, I cant even sit in front of a computer for a long period of time atm because I get sick. I want to work but I cant, I hate feeling worthless. I went out last night with my current boyfriend and I had a wonderful time and everything but as soon as I got back home I immediately sunk back into my depression that I felt. I know I can do better then this but how can I keep it up??? I feel the weight of everything I need to have done on my shoulders and I hate it.

Hello & Welcome, SecretLily! Have you been able to speak, not with a therapist or doctor, but with someone who understands the medical and vocational bureaucracies you have to navigate? 2-1-1 might be a place to get initial help with that.

Please make yourself at home here!

This life does have its ups and downs; I agree with Rohag about 211 for assistance. You might also want to try asking your prescribing physician for samples of the meds that you need. I prescribed cymbalta today and the MD gave me samples for the first month or so. I have insurance, but it does not cover any of the meds or MD visits, and I only get the "pleasure" of making co-pays...I pay it all until I hit the full deductible...

Be grateful that you have a boyfriend that you can spend time with, and appreciate the little things. I'm feeling horrible today, but I'm taking solace in the fact that I have a wife and son who both care about me. Please enjoy the supportive people here on PC.

I will try and give that a shot, at this point I will try anything lol Ty