new here

hi I dont know what I have or if I even am depressed I took 6 online tests they all said sever depression but i dont know if I believe them or not.
I have a bad back so I am in alot of pain also and taking meds for that but I have been on them for about 9 yrs and the change just started in the last few yrs.
I just want to stay in my room and watch tv till I see some one killed my mom died on may the 3rd at 91 yrs old and had a great life but she was my mom and I loved her so much. I cant concentrate to finish progects I start and that started 2 yrs ago . I am up all night almost then sleep till about 10 in the morning even if I dont go to sleep till 9 wife makes sure of that it just seems like my whole life has fallen apart we had to move and could only find one person to help so it took forever and in the old days I moved everybody;( i dont know whats wrong with me nothing probably just those stuipid books got me thinking oh ya then my African grey parrot died on my grand dauhgters birthday all these deaths are in the last 2 and 1/2 months I just cant take any more deaths . any way hope you all have a good day George

Welcome George...that is a lot of loss in two years. If this is not depression, it is most certainly grief. Give yourself some time to heal from the losses. Maybe some grief counseling will help. Getting an outsiders opinion is sometimes helpful. Perhaps you can also talk with your MD about anti-depressant medication. Meds and therapy together really do help with depression. Good luck.

I am so sorry for your loss George and welcome here

just remember they will forever lives in your heart

hugs

Hi everyone thanks for your greetings and ideas today started out about the same woke up turned the tv on and started my normal routine of mind numbing and my wife brought the mail in and there was a belated sympathy card for my mom and that started all the water works going again but I did wait till the wife left the room she just tells me to toughen up now its been long enough shes probably right but I cant control it.
I hope you are all having ok days George

Hey George its sounds like the deaths of the ones you were close to have beat you down. You should talk to someone about it. Someone who is trained to listen and help you work through. I am not saying that it will make everything better but you need to start somewhere. Good luck i know how the loss feels.