[faithbw]

I recently got divorced from my husband of six years. I'm grateful the marriage is over because it wasn't healthy for either of us and I hadn't been happy in it for a long time. Still, I feel this sense of...I don't know...failure. I look back and think "Why didn't I see we weren't compatible before we got married?" or "Why was I in such a rush to get married when I was only 22?"

I feel like my marriage set me back in a lot of ways. I moved away from home to an area of the country that is economically depressed. This has made it hard to get a job. I tried to maintain the friendships I did have at the time and for a while I did. However, life drifted me and my friends apart. Additionally, I found it hard to make new friends. I moved twice in my marriage and it is so hard to make friends when you're introverted and have no connections to the place where you move to. I do have one friend from a job I use to have but that I pretty much it. There is another woman I associate with but honestly, I consider her more of an acquitance than a friend.

Six years of marriage and it feels like I have little to show for it except knowing what to do differently if I decide to ever get married again.

I try to look at the positive. I got my degree while married (although my lack of employment while having the degree has created it own set of issues). I learned how to drive. I live in an apartment now (my ex pays for it while I look for employment).

Still, I just feel like I should have done more. So I'm trying not to go back into a depression. I was depressed when I first started college and I don't want to go back to that point.

How do you prevent yourself from going into a downward spiral when life throws out curve balls?

[Leed]

Well, it can be hard, but you have to try to stay positive. And you've got to stay BUSY. If you just loll around the house, you'll surely end up depressed.

Even if you're just cleaning, or weeding a garden, or mowiing the lawn, or whatever -- just so you're busy. But you're going to be lookiing for employment so that should keep you busy for awhile. Trouble is, in a depressed area, that can only keep you busy for just so long. Is there any chance you can move out of that area and into a more affluent area where jobs are more available?

I hope things work out well for you -- just stay positive. Things will be okay, you HAVE to keep telling yourself that And I'm sure they will. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee