[pandarama123456789]

I saw some friends yesterday, taught them how to make dream catchers, well, tried to at least It was alright, I felt pretty good when I was with them, in the beginning anyways. In some way, I still felt like I was excluded, or... It's hard for me to find the right word, I just still felt out of the loop I guess, or that I didn't really fit in. I was happy that I was around people, around my friends and didn't have much anxiety, I think because we were at my house. There were little moments when I was with them that it didn't seem right, me being with people. And after they were gone, it felt like they were never even there. Like I just dreamed it or something. I wonder if I'm just antisocial. but if I am, why do I want to see people sometimes? I make no sense of myself. I just don't like being this way, wanting to see friends than feeling like I don't belong and wanting to be alone in my own world. I shouldn't even be complaining, it's my own fault, just frustrated and wanted to vent..

[HelpppMeeeOuttt]

Sorry to hear about that. I feel distanced when I'm with friends as well when I'm feeling depressed. It sucks, because I'd like to talk to them about how I'm feeling and to be honest with them, but I don't want to bring down the mood. I especially don't want them treating me any differently. It's a tricky situation that I still haven't figured out.

[maddangell]

It is so very hard to find words and to feel any part of a situation when feeling the effects of depression as all you are attuned to is how awful your situation is and if you will ever feel better again?As your title suggests,I can wholeheartedly feel where you are coming from,especially if you suffer from any sort or form of Bi-polar or mood disorder as i do!Not knowing from one day to the next what you will be be experiencing regarding emotions is agonizing and especially when having to be around others that do not understand what you are going through.Keep your head up sweetie and please do not give up as there absolutely are days that prove that the ( wonderfulness of life and all that it offers)certainly outweigh the days of the pit of depessive episodes!(((((((hugs)))))

[Tsunamisurfer]

Originally Posted by pandarama123456789

I just don't like being this way, wanting to see friends than feeling like I don't belong and wanting to be alone in my own world. I shouldn't even be complaining, it's my own fault, just frustrated and wanted to vent..

(pandarama)
I have no advice - only a sense of the same frustration and confusion with my friends - or people who try to be friends, or people I try to be friends with. Wanting to care, wanting to encourage, yet somehow not being able to bridge the chasm between them and me. When you know a world they can't relate to, see things they don't, hear things they can't, sense things they have no idea exist, how do you reach them? It is a struggle to talk the same language as them.
Even doing things together with other people can feel extremely lonely.

[dg1983]

Pandarama, I've felt the same way too, just last weekend I was at a great restaurant with friends and it was like I might as well have stayed at home--because it felt like it made no difference to me whether or not I hung out with them at all. It's pretty sad huh? It's like there is a shield over my eyes and nothing is ever good enough...at what point will I stop feeling lonely? When I feel like this I just tell myself that if my friends didn't actually want to hang out with me then they wouldn't. And these people actually want my company. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't help as much. I just try more to give people a chance and try to relate with them more, even if it may be hard in the beginning, I know isolating myself will hurt more in the end.

[nevergiveup8]

Pandarama, your post caught my eye because the feeling you described matches my emotions when I spend time with my friends from high school... people I have known for a long time and SHOULD feel comfortable with but I can't help but feeling "out of the loop" because our lives have gone in different directions and many times they choose to gang up on me because I am an easy target who they know won't stand up to them. I am constantly going back in forth in my mind on whether I should just suck it up and spend time with them so that I'm not alone, or if I should stick up for myself and not waste my time with people who bring me down. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but what I will tell you is that isolating yourself and burning bridges with others typically isn't a healthy option. However, if feeling this way about your friends is a recurrent theme, maybe you should consider getting to know new people on top of the friends you already have. My mom always used to tell me "make new friends, but keep the old ones". Good luck and god bless.

[pandarama123456789]

Originally Posted by Tsunamisurfer

(pandarama)
I have no advice - only a sense of the same frustration and confusion with my friends - or people who try to be friends, or people I try to be friends with. Wanting to care, wanting to encourage, yet somehow not being able to bridge the chasm between them and me. When you know a world they can't relate to, see things they don't, hear things they can't, sense things they have no idea exist, how do you reach them? It is a struggle to talk the same language as them.
Even doing things together with other people can feel extremely lonely.

That's exactly how I feel! Every word.. I just want to thank you for responding, it means so much to me that others can relate to how I feel in this situation, and I'm also very sorry that others do feel this way as well..

[pandarama123456789]

Originally Posted by dg1983

Pandarama, I've felt the same way too, just last weekend I was at a great restaurant with friends and it was like I might as well have stayed at home--because it felt like it made no difference to me whether or not I hung out with them at all. It's pretty sad huh? It's like there is a shield over my eyes and nothing is ever good enough...at what point will I stop feeling lonely? When I feel like this I just tell myself that if my friends didn't actually want to hang out with me then they wouldn't. And these people actually want my company. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't help as much. I just try more to give people a chance and try to relate with them more, even if it may be hard in the beginning, I know isolating myself will hurt more in the end.

You're definitely right about that, I'm a lot happier seeing friends every now and again than when I was alone and shut out from the world. It is hard for me to try and relate to people, even my friends, but I've opened up al ot to my one(and pretty much only)friend over the past few months and it's gotten easier to be around and interact with her, but I'm not sure if I can do thatt with anyone else..

[pandarama123456789]

Originally Posted by nevergiveup8

Pandarama, your post caught my eye because the feeling you described matches my emotions when I spend time with my friends from high school... people I have known for a long time and SHOULD feel comfortable with but I can't help but feeling "out of the loop" because our lives have gone in different directions and many times they choose to gang up on me because I am an easy target who they know won't stand up to them. I am constantly going back in forth in my mind on whether I should just suck it up and spend time with them so that I'm not alone, or if I should stick up for myself and not waste my time with people who bring me down. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but what I will tell you is that isolating yourself and burning bridges with others typically isn't a healthy option. However, if feeling this way about your friends is a recurrent theme, maybe you should consider getting to know new people on top of the friends you already have. My mom always used to tell me "make new friends, but keep the old ones". Good luck and god bless.

My mom told me the same thing! I feel the same way with my friends, I've known them since elementary, maybe because they've changed so much and I haven't really changed at all is why it's hard to be around them.. I've only really felt completely comfortable around 1 or 2 people, and that's because they were in the same situation I was in and I felt no judgement or un-sureness from them. Anyways, thank you very much and I wish you the best of luck!

[PupMom]

This is how I use to feel. People could irraite me one day and be fine the next. One day, I had a complete breakdown. I knew that feeling that way wasn't right and it started to affect my work.

i went to my GP, and he prescribed paxil and I'm up to 40mg, and at times this doesn't seem like it is enough.