[rcrss5]

Today I am feeling worse than ever I don., want anyone around me, I how I feel worse than ever because my children are invisible to me I can't hep the or cook for the or be in the same room as them . I just want to go to sleep and never wake up .my kids will manage without mri ha e lost the desire to care for my kids now and for their future.

[regretful]

They might be able to manage without you, but they won't manage well. Talk to anyone who has lost someone to "going to sleep and never waking up", and they will tell you how much that changed their lives for the worse. Even if you are not physically there with your children (I don't know anything about your situation), you are still their parent. I hope that you can rekindle that desire to care.

[TerryL]

rcrss5, I'm so sorry you are in such deep pain. I have copied some helpline info for you, just in case--

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
http://www.suicide.org/
http://www.hopeline.com/
http://www.suicideforum.com/

and if you want to, please feel free to share more.

[truitt661]

I do understand your frustration and all but you have to understand that no one will love you more than the love that your kids have for you. I know sometimes that they might get on your nervous or it just to much to handle just understand that kids doesn't think and a respectable way that they should that just what kids do.

[whimsygirl]

I'm very sorry about your pain, and I wish you some comfort as soon as possible. Of course depression distorts the way you see everything, including the way you are feeling about your children. I'm sure this must be devastating for you. I pray that on some level you may come back to a place where you can realize that you are very blessed to have them. This goes right to my heart, as I am someone who lives every day with the sadness that I never had kids. I agree with everything regretful has said, and I know he is speaking from a place of compassion. Please, please, please try to remember that you are seeing things through the eyes of depression....and whether you are able to comprehend this or not at this time....YOU ARE MORE THAN THIS ILLNESS. You can not absolutely know when you might feel more like "you", whether it is the result of finding the right meds, an amazing therapist, a combination of things....or just something you can't identify....it happens! I have been where you are many times, minus the kids, and yes I still struggle, but I am here to say that hope is indeed out there....whether you are able to see it or not at this time. Sending the warmest of wishes......