Why I am no longer afraid of depression

I hate depression. I wish depression didn't exist. Anxiety and depression are the worst diseases people can have aside from the few diseases that kill regardless of actions taken. But, I no longer am afraid of it .

Why not? Well there are 3 tiers of harm in my mind. There is life and death, then functioning/relationships, followed by amount of happiness allowed.

Well ive been through the bad times enough, and I can honestly say really bad, that the life and death tier is easy for me to dismiss. Anxiety can't hurt me really, and as time goes by the panic attacks become more and more like a cramp or headache, passing physical sensations that mean nothing. And Depression is harmless on the life and death tier if you don't take action against yourself, and I've felt too much happiness recently to think that another depressive episode would drive me to think it wasn't worth living. The bad is bad no doubt, but the good is soooo goood . Tier 1 done.

Functioning and relationships are were I feel most of the damage is done by depression. We all know suicide is the ultimate negative outcome, but that only comes after you are no longer able to function or have no more relationships you feel are worth living for. My first and worst depressive episode was as bad as it was because i was nonfunctioning and my relationships with my family was good, but neither me nor them had any idea what this illness causes or how long it can last. Now? Major depression is the only thing that can stop me from functioning, and I feel that can only happen if I let a minor/moderate episode spiral. So the ball is in my court! And relationships have been made with my therapist and family so that even if it does happen again, we all have the game plan. I have minor episodes here and there, but my drive to function is stronger which means the only time they get the better of me is early morning and late at night when its just you and your brain. Well if my depression wants the first 45 minutes after I wake up and maybe the last 30 minutes before I fall asleep, take it, because the rest of that day is mine to enjoy. Tier 2 is up to me!

Tier 3 is about how much happiness you experience. You can be functioning and living but still struggle to be happy. Happiness im learning is like a muscle, you gotta work it out. So if you are super depressed, its like having your arm in a cast. You cant work it out, so it loses its strength, slowly. But when you get a break, the cast comes off and you can exercise it. You cant lift as much as you did before maybe, but over time it gets stronger. Tier 3 is admittedly about work, and in the depths of a bad depression its really not easy and sometimes impossible, but that one is for all to work on during the moderate, mild, or non depressive times. I think the stronger we flex our happiness muscle, the less it will be depleted when the depression monster returns, and the easier recovery will get.

Put this all together, and I am not afraid of depression anymore . I have it sometimes, im on meds for it, and im prone to it, but hey im also prone to knee pain which cant kill me either, so why be afraid? Life is good, the world is good, sometimes a person isn't feeling good, but life and the world are just waiting for you to come back to them, and they aren't going anywhere

That's so wonderful! I am so happy that you have such a positive attitude about it, and are able to see anxiety + depression as something that you have power over (instead of letting it seize power over you)! This was such a well-thought perspective, and I am so happy that you have a healthy approach in case of a slip up. I admittedly still struggle with not beating myself up, but it will improve.

Thank you so much for this!!!

Thanks for that inspiration, on a day when I am feeling all is lost it is nice to read something positive. not sure I am at aplace where I can truely take it in but I apprciate it. so glad life is looking up for you. continue to follow your rainbow.

Thanks for sharing!

What a lovely post