[Zen888]

I feel sad because I have nobody to support me through my endless path of ups and downs...mostly depression. My GP put a referral through for me to see a PSY in August. I will be seeing a mental health worker end of this month...not looking forward to it because it's the same routine...case history intake for an hour or so...and then kicked to the door for 3 weeks or more with no one to talk to. My brother whom I don't get along with because he makes me feel inferrior and unloveable because of my illness. He believes in the "tough love program" to the point I don't dare ask him for support on any level. I'm sad because I've given up hope of getting married and/or having children because of my illness and medications. I'm sad because before I took these medications I was slim/petite and now I'm majorly over weight. I'm sad because my new medications leave me feeling hung over and very sedated. I'm just plain tired and completely exhausted from feeling depressed and lonely 24/7 with no one offering support. However, in the past when I have been hospitalized, "friends" and my brother, are very quick to come and "visit" me in the hospital. Outside of hospital they don't have the time nor the need to have me as an active person in their lives.

Confused...

Because every time I reach out for help people whom are "successful in life" slam the door in my face.

When I go to the ER the doctors/nurses treat me like a criminal and put me in a lock down room with matching stainless steel tiolet and sink. Security guards accompany anyone nurse...etc to treat me. I have never been physically aggressive/abusive towards anyone.

_________

I need a lot of support and I don't know who to go to for it or what to say anymore. I've tried everything.

[Rohag]

((((((( Zen888 )))))))

Yes, you technically have people to talk to, but you have no one with whom you can really talk. That makes sense. ***sigh***

Originally Posted by Zen888

Last night a crisis worker told me just clean one room per day and then chill out for the rest of the day.

Or even half a room per day -- whatever you can handle.

Originally Posted by Zen888

Today I am hung over with a sick stomach because I took extra pills to keep me calm and out of the ER.

Your great desire to stay out of the ER also makes sense:

Originally Posted by Zen888

When I go to the ER the doctors/nurses treat me like a criminal and put me in a lock down room with matching stainless steel tiolet and sink. Security guards accompany anyone nurse...etc to treat me.

That would deter me!

Originally Posted by Zen888

I will be seeing a mental health worker end of this month...not looking forward to it because it's the same routine...case history intake for an hour or so...and then kicked to the door for 3 weeks or more with no one to talk to.

That's terribly discouraging. It's all discouraging.

We here cannot properly substitute for the healing warmth of flesh-and-blood confidants, but please keep posting.

[whimsygirl]

Hi Zen.....I'm so sorry about how horrible you're feeling. Sending warm thoughts and hugs, but how I wish I could do more to help. One thought I did want to express.....Anyone who would slam the door in your face could never be called a "success" in my book. You deserve more, and much better, than that. I pray that some comfort comes to you soon, and at the same time that you post whenever you need ~want to ~whimsy Oh and thanks for mentioning the animal shelters! I agree so much