[WhiteCruelty]

Hello, I am 20 but my mom thinks i am still 7 years old. Because of this I have not any friends cause she is always so jealous of them. I can not think in having a boyfriend. All friends i had when they came to my house my mom was so angry or after was in silent with me.
Because of this I feel anxious,stressfull, depressed and oppressed and also very, very alone.
She usually comes to me and says: "Give me a kiss baby". I think is enough loving. I have not intimacy. I hate when she comes to me asking love, cause, really it is enough loving for my age. If i try to have a bit more intimacy, she gets angry a lot.
She also likes going to the doctor even when I am healthy. I say to her: Mom i would like going alone to the doctor or mum i dont need any blood test now, AGAIN SHE GETS ANGRY.
I have two years of college to end but i would like to work for the weekends this year. I really scared of she tries to break this, cause i know it is the door for move away from her.

I tried to speak about this but she normally says things as:
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I only worried about you, you are so ungrateful.
I feel guilty after and very very weakling so i am back to my loving and oppressed behaviour.

I am paralysed in life. I dont do anything new. I think sometimes in suicide cause i really dont know how to escape of this but perhaps when i end my college i can go away with a good job but while..I HAVE YOUNG NEEDS..

What could I do?

[lolathecat]

You could move into a dorm and go to some school activitites to meet some new people.

[Leed]

Why not sit down with Mom and tell her that in ONE YEAR you will be a LEGAL ADULT and she won't have any legal hold on your at ALL. You will be able to do what you want, when you want, where you want. She won't be able to say one word about it. We know that she loves you but she has to let you spread your wings and LEARN to walk on your own two feet by yourself. If she doesn't stop hovering over you, you won't learn to make your own mistakes and learn from them. We ALL have to make mistakes. Otherwise we won't understand the RIGHT way to do things.

Just talk openly and honestly to your Mom, and tell her to PLEASE LISTEN. You're not a child anymore, and she HAS to understand that. You're a young adult, and it's time she started treating you like that.

And like lolathecat said, why not move into the dorm at school, and meet new friends and go to school activities? Can yoiu afford that? If not, then try to get Mom to understand that you're GOING to have new friends whether she likes it or NOT. But make sure she knows you love her.

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Kingsley85]

Do you see a therapist? I think if you can see a therapist for at least a few times and explain what's going on you could have a family meeting with your mom and the therapist. Sometimes people need to hear something from a third person to understand and realize that they are hurting someone.

Hang in there, make sure you give yourself time for fun things and relaxation if you can.

[WhiteCruelty]

Thanks a lot for all the answers. Around two years I will be in the internship of my college and possibly I get the job cause i am really good studying. Meantime I'm used to be alone. So completely depressed and anxious for other two years are nothing to someone who has been all his life.

Greetings

[jelly-bean]

Is your father at home? Perhaps you can talk to him and ask him to help you with your mom. You really need to make the effort to make some friends your own age at school. Join a study group or a club of some sort. See if the college has a counselor you can talk to and maybe get some help.

[James0805]

Originally Posted by WhiteCruelty

Hello, I am 20 but my mom thinks i am still 7 years old. Because of this I have not any friends cause she is always so jealous of them. I can not think in having a boyfriend. All friends i had when they came to my house my mom was so angry or after was in silent with me.
Because of this I feel anxious,stressfull, depressed and oppressed and also very, very alone.
She usually comes to me and says: "Give me a kiss baby". I think is enough loving. I have not intimacy. I hate when she comes to me asking love, cause, really it is enough loving for my age. If i try to have a bit more intimacy, she gets angry a lot.
She also likes going to the doctor even when I am healthy. I say to her: Mom i would like going alone to the doctor or mum i dont need any blood test now, AGAIN SHE GETS ANGRY.
I have two years of college to end but i would like to work for the weekends this year. I really scared of she tries to break this, cause i know it is the door for move away from her.

I tried to speak about this but she normally says things as:
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I only worried about you, you are so ungrateful.
I feel guilty after and very very weakling so i am back to my loving and oppressed behaviour.

I am paralysed in life. I dont do anything new. I think sometimes in suicide cause i really dont know how to escape of this but perhaps when i end my college i can go away with a good job but while..I HAVE YOUNG NEEDS..

What could I do?

It's not your fault this is going on. It's not your fault. You are not responsible for your mother.