Where do I belong?

My main diagnosis seems to be depression and anxiety. This is at least what allows me into the depression and anxiety groups (clubs). Unfortunately there other things going on that probably lead to my feeling depressed, but I can't get into those clubs because I don't have an official diagnosis.
What I'm talking about is the possibility of autism spectrum and possibly emotional abuse, etc... I find it frustrating reading about what people go through with clear cut labels to work with. I don't trust my labels and I don't feel it's even worth finding out my labels. The fact is I have a set of symptoms that fit Depression and anxiety and their underlying cause is very much related to my inability to understand other people, constant compensating for social fears and mistakes, inability to cope with change, feelings of emotional neglect that carry from childhood into adulthood and more.

So what club to I get to go to for support? This is a rhetorical question, but it's one I'm annoyed about overall. I can't just join in with aspergers because I don't know if I have it and my coping skills may mask it so much that even if I do have it, it would be hard to detect. I don't know if it's ADD or I'm just crazy.

Why are labels required for me to get support for the fact that I constantly feel like people want me fired at work or are looking for faults in my work. Or my hatred of talking to a check out person when I buy something because I have scripts I use to keep from getting too anxious. Sometimes I don't need the scripts and am able to just go with the flow, but these days I'm a wreck.
Individual therapy for me is not about fixing problems but learning coping techniques. The idea is to not let my emotions control my actions. Very difficult stuff, but also neutral to whatever problem I have. And it makes me feel like I have no identity. Those labels that get used give identity and I want something to help me identify with a group. I may just self-proclaim autism spectrum becuase I have some and they think my daughter has aspergers (although that's still unknown for certain because nothing truly rules it in).

My feelings are overwhelming to me, so I need to get something out before I explode at work. I'm trying to distract from them by writing something like this, but it's hard. I'll start to go back to the acting "as if" i don't have the feelings (very hard skill to do).

Perhaps I'm just a whiny normal person.

It doesn't sound like you are whiny, and no one is normal as far as I can tell.

You're certainly not whiny, but I DO detect depression! So you can definitely join the depression group with NO qualms. Whether or not you have any of the other illnesses, we'd have to get to know you better.

You mentioned emotional abuse -- can you talk about that more? I have suffered ALOT of emotional abuse both from my parents and my ex husband, so there's no doubt I've been a victim. If you are able to talk about it, we can certainly tell you it you're a victim too. Remember tho, we are NOT DOCTORS, so we can't diagnose. We can tell you what we THINK, and that's all.

Don't let these illnesses define you. They have NOTHING to do with your identity or who you are. They aren't "you." Who you are iinside is a totally different thing -- you are NOT your illness. From what I read so far, you're an extremely intelligent, kind person who is struggling with depression and needs some help. So I'm glad you came to this forum.

I really think you need to see a therapist, who WILL help you with your questions and your issues. A good psychologist would be the perfect choice for you. Your medical doctor could refer you to a good one so you wouldn't have to search the yellow pages for one. LOL I really urge you to talk to you M.D. and let him refer you BUT keep posting here too. It really does you good to post between sessions and get some feedback on what went on. Best of luck and God bless. Keep us posted, ok??? We really DO CARE about you! Hugs, Lee

I already have a doctor and a therapist, so it's not like I don't have treatment. The issue of what I have doesn't really matter to them because it's more about the symptoms. The issue of what I have comes up when I look for help outside of the doctor's office or therapists office.

I'm a very lonely person in general. I have a supportive family, but I don't know where I belong in the community. I am jelous of those who write about their conditions as if they know what they are and can label them because there is a sense of identity there.

I am kind of just frustrated that I don't know where I belong fully. I am depressed, but I'm also something else. Something that's causing the depression that makes my thinking difficult.

It doesn't help that my daughter at age 12 is having trouble and has been having suicidal thoughts. I get them too. It seems we both get them whenever we are stressed. I get worn out fighting them, so I can only imagine what she's going through trying to keep herself from acting on her feelings.

Hang in there Ake, there is no need to give your self a label in order to belong to a support group like this. In my view, this is not some type of geek forum where if I have an iPhone or you have an android we have to take sides. I'm sure we all bring support to each another in PC no matter what type of condition we are suffering from.

If I as you, I would stay in the depression forum as I have chosen to do so (I have only 1 day here). Best of luck :-)

Well, you are talking about labels and it's one of my pet peeves. I was taught all my life not to give people labels and now I find I have some. Anyway, around here you do not need to have the illness to go to the forum. You can go to any forum and post there if you think it will be of any help to you. I think this one is a good start. I also feel that you need to get into some sort of therapy soon. We will all support you and try to help. You belong here at PC with all the rest of us.

Hello, nice to meet you here

No labels are needed. You feel what you feel, you think who you are, what you are, that's all that matters. You like to belong here, then you are here with us. Don't stress over giving yourself a label in order to feel accepted and a part of it, it is not necessary here. I hope you also find your daughter a therapist and get help for her, the earlier she gets help, sooner she can enjoy her life esp she is so young.

I can say that with the forums here, I am fairly comfortable with the depression group. I don't know about the others much, but I think they would be comforting as well if I just described my symptoms.

My frustration is with the rest of the world. For example, my daughter has now been given a working diagnosis of aspergers. Prior to this, she wasn't able to get assistance for her symptoms because most of her symptoms mirrored schizophrenia (aspergers and schizophrenia have often been mistaken in kids in the past). Depression and bi-polar wouldn't help her symptoms as much because that inflexibility in thinking and the paranoia she expressed aren't as prevalent.

So in some ways, in this world, a label matters. But I don't know what my daughter really has and in fact, i would say it's really NOS (not otherwise specified) because she's so unique and doesn't fit any DSM IV-TR definitions. I am the same way. I have anxiety, but it's not just about being scared of failure, but also fear of not knowing what to do with myself in a social situation.

So I'm ranting a bit about how blogs are set up and use these labels rather than the description of the symptoms. I'm trying to work on getting a message out to people about mental illness and I'm realizing that I used the labels too much and need to find better ways of expressing what's happening in my mind/behavior without just labeling it.

Why can't we all be compartmentalized though? It would make life easier, but then again less dynamic...