[two sons]

I am very discouraged/depressed. Learned yesterday that our son (he is very unstable with Bipolar Disorder) and his girlfriend are definitely having a baby. I worry about them handling this situation. I am upset because I hadn't planned on being around (alive) that long. How will I have energy to be a good grandma and support to my son.

I am just beside myself.

[melstar]

Now you have a reason to be around, because he is going to need you to help him raise this beautiful miracle. YOU are going to be a GRANDMOTHER!!! What a blessing. Even if it is not what you want right now.

[Snowy83]

What do mean by

I hadn't planned on being around (alive) that long

?
I hope I get it wrong, how long your life can be isn't something you can PLAN unless you intentionally do something with it.

I know it is hard being a mother always worry about their children even after they grow up, but you have to let go, you can't add more pressure to yourself that is beyond your ability unless you sure you can handle it. Let them learn on their own and take responsibility of their own actions even if your son is suffered from Bipolar, otherwise they will never learn. All you can do is advice what he could do and asked him to seek help from social service if necessary, and just being a supportive grandma that like to spoil her grandkids.

My aunt who is 65 she always spoiled her two sons, and now they grown up, the youngest (age 36) asked my aunt for twenty thousand US dollars for him to invest a new business, he doesn't even think about her old mother need money to feel secure as she is aging and need medical in the future. And they both left their own sons (with their ex wives) for my aunt to take care and live with her but they both move on their new lives with their new girlfriends. This is the consequence of how my aunt spoiled her sons and never let them learn responsibilities. Hope you will be able to let go.

[two sons]

Thanks Snowy83,
In a way I feel more responsible for my son's baby - it isn't the baby's fault that it's daddy has been unstable. I think if he is stable, he will be a good daddy.

You probably did interpret my statement correctly. I'm 49 and living.....well not something I want to do anymore.

[Snowy83]

Don't put all the responsibilities on your shoulders, you have had enough and you can't handle anymore. If you really want the baby to have a good daddy, let him learn and stand by sideline to advice, not do it for him. And there is a mother too, she will love the baby more than you do, don't worry too much.

I can't advice on that statement...sorry....I'm struggling too, but you are not alone to feel this way. If anything to advice, hang in there for your grandkid, if you go, the baby will have one less person to love him/her.

do you have names for it?

do you know if it will be a boy or a girl

good luck!

[jelly-bean]

Being a grandmother is the best thing I could be besides being a mother to my son. Your new grandbaby will make some very special changes in your heart and your mind. Let your son be a father and you be the best grandma you can be for a baby who is going to love you and give you a reason to hang around.