I feel better - Just this instance

I came here looking to express my deepest depressive thoughts and possibly connect with someone who would understand how hopeless I feel.

Yet, I'm heartened by the numerous posts here, and I know I shouldn't find solace in the knowledge that, "it's not just me", but reading through the threads that seek help, acknowledgment, hugs, kisses and generally company in our individual miseries, I feel a bit better.

I realize when my thoughts are focused on another person's troubles, and by the very nature of my own troubles, I'm better able to understand and empathize with each and every post on the Depression forum.
This temporary distraction of caring for someone else makes me feel normal somewhat and thereby a bit better. I cried for many of you in need of hugs and my heart pounded when I read your posts seeking some validity.

This is my first post here and I hope to contribute as best I can and I do hope that when my time comes, you would respond.

contribute as much or as little as you feel you need too.

welcome

Bless your heart! It's awful to be a victim of depression. I've had it since I was a very small child, although my parents didn't pay attention. I didn't get any treatment untl I was in my mid-20's when I went into therapy and on medication. At one point I even went into a mental hospital for 2 weeks.

I never realized the thousands and thousand of people who are stricken with mental illnesses -- I was totally astounded. My heart goes out to all of them. Out of the 4 girls in my family, all 4 of us are stricken with depression, and while I know it's due to our up-bringing, I also believe that it's inherited.

I wish you the very best. I hope you're getting the appropriate treatment ane/or medication. Please take care of yourself and keep posting here. God bless and hope to hear from you again. Hugs, Lee

Thank you Leed - for sharing your experience with this illness.

I am yet to seek professional help with what I know to be depression. I know because I seem to be getting very high scores (for once in my life), with all of the on-line mental health tests. The test on this forum rates me as highly depressed and recommends immediately consulting a professional.
I'm not certain if I will do that yet, but I am glad I have taken the first step by joining this forum.

I do have suicidal thoughts, and in greater frequency - as of late. Many are instantaneous flashes of self mutilation with a large kitchen knife. I once watched a television program on how suicidal behavior is possibly linked to a certain (dark) part of the brain, and that we are born that way. The hypothesis was that we are born with such illness. I never thought that depression could be hereditary too, till you mentioned it.
I now begin to recall and peer into my childhood and see images of how my father must have been depressed too.

I seem to be going full circle - and in tow - with my father's life. He was a kind and caring man. Yet, an impulsive and proud man. He had every tendency to be obsessive compulsive and was betrayed by all who entered his life. He raised me well and instilled in me the best of my core values. I rebelled when I turned 15, as many do, and left home. He died of a heart attack a year later. It's been almost 20 years since, and I recently realized that I am following in his footsteps.

I have a lot to say and uncertain if I can indulge in this forum. But I also know - very clearly - that I have reached that breaking point and if I don't do something about it, I might be accounted for a statistic.

I like the idea of this forum too. Knowing that I'm not alone makes the often excrutiating burden of depression a little lighter. I have been in and out of therapy since I was about 8 years old. I'm 28 now, and I'm finally giving therapy a real chance. I have to do this. I know I can. You can do this too.

Welcome, I hope you find the help and support you need in here.
I'm 31 suffered with panic attacks and anxiety attacks from the age of 18, although I rarely have them now. I suffer with attacks of depression uncontrollable mood swings and when then there si.
I can't talk to my friends and family about it know more as they get to worried and to be honest it makes me feel worse.
So I come in here, people here really do understand.
Big hugs to you and every one

Of course you can indulge and post as much as you want. That's the joy of being online...if people don't want to read it they don't. But many will and someone might have something that works for you.

Just remember the trigger icon if your thoughts are really dark.

Remember suicidal thoughts are only thoughts. Try to see them as clouds floating by...you acknowledge they are there but let them pass

Hugs