[whacko]

i dont fit the norm i guess i cant deal anymore they tryed every medication and basicly said theres nothing they can do but im allways misrable it takes all day of building up to do the simplest things my mind wont shut off and i ping from one thing to the next i ben battleing with admitting my self to the hoispital i cant even take care of myself 2 months and no shower my hair is turning into a giant matt im going further and further inside my head i fear going in public iv packed on 100lbs i cant deal anymore so im here hopeing something anything can help

[Miswimmy1]

aww... sry about all that. have you been diagnosed? it sounds like you may have a bit of deperession...

[Tsuki632]

Sorry to hear you're hurting. Maybe the hospital is the right place for you right now. I was hospitalized a couple of years ago and it helped me sort things out and get better. Hugs

[everything]

Have you heard of mindfulness meditation? Doing that snapped me out of an anxiety rut, just one day blew my mind.

Meds don't work for everyone, everyone I know has actually stopped using because of personal preference and none credit meds with their recovery. It's always been a personal life change that's done it. I want to show give you support in finding the place you want to be. Because I've been at the bottom, I know you can climb back up. It starts with believing this and the rest is a journey, but it feels better every time you make progress--which is a lot.

[Tsuki632]

I got a lot of benefit from mindfulness. Check out Jon Kabat Zinn.

Meds are definitely a personal thing. It's possible that you might need them for a while until you can make the lifestyle changes. Then again I've made the changes and I still need meds. Everyone is different.

You can feel better. It's hard but worth it. There are many here to support you.

Hugs

[Hellion]

I am sort of considering that as well, I don't really see how I can go on with how I've been feeling lately. So I guess I am more than sort of considering it, anyways I kinda know the feeling though.

I have more of an issue with not sleeping enough, not eating enough and not being able to control my ptsd symptoms at all so lack of sleep without eating enough to sustain the anxiety I feel almost 24/7 except when I am tired from that and just feel depressed...I try to keep up on showering but its pretty much way more effort than its worth, who am I going to impress anyways when I can hardly stand to go in public and I can't stand where I live.

Anyways, I suppose if you feel you can't deal with it anymore admitting yourself wouldn't be a bad idea. I've never tried before though, and the thought of it makes me rather anxious so I am not too happy its likely what I have to do. I don't suppose this is much help but I'm not feeling very hopeful kinda just hoping something can help as well.

[Tsuki632]

Hellion. I understand feeling anxious about being hospitalized. I didn't enjoy my two stays but most of my anxiety faded pretty quickly because I knew I was safe and I had hope for once. The place I was in was a 'stabilization' unit. Basically get you through the crisis but not much therapy. But it did allow me to learn some coping skills.

Not sure if that helps at all

[whacko]

it sucks being this way all the time and people think you can just snap out of it but you cant just get un sick you have to work at it and iv ben working at it my hole life its a never ending battle and its tireing when will it end? will it ever end?

I find hospitals pretty useless unless you're in a crisis or heading for meltdown - as the above poster said, theres very little therapy. What support network do you have whacko? Your ability to function is clearly impaired so please don't give up on the professional help being offered you. If you feel you would be properly observed in a hospital environment and therefore given more appropriate treatment then by all means go for it but you can't have tried EVERY treatment option, theres always new therapies and new research going on as we speak so please don't give up hope.

I would be as firm with your doctors as you can, if they see you're not going to give up (even if inside you feel differently at the moment) they'll probably be more proactive in their response. Tell them bluntly what is going on (don't leave out any detail) and ask them plainly what else they can do for you. Even if you have to keep going back to them until they listen, so be it. Let them suggest ways in which you can help yourself and don't let them fob you off, this is your life and therefore your responsibility so be as vocal as you can (take someone with you for support if you can and don't already).

Have you talked about medication adjustments? Meds can take up to six months to have effect so it can seem like an age before you get the right balance. If you haven't tried skills based therapy like CBT or DBT this might be worth considering - even if your docs just point out support groups for you or help you out so that you're better off financially at least thats something.

For the moment be kind to yourself and take things slowly - if you can accomplish one small thing each day your confidence will grow and hopefully you'll get back into a routine and feel a bit better. If you have to eat a lot make sure its as healthy as possible. I find eating little and often helps me feel full and not as tired, perhaps you could try this? Could washing more frequently instead of taking full on showers be easier for you?

I know all this might sound impossible but doctors can only help you so far, some of the work has to come from you too - we'll all be here to support you in this, we just want to try and help in any way we can Trust me when i say i have been where you are and will probably find myself there again in the future so i know how you feel. It IS a struggle but we are not our illnesses, we have a life and a whole being outside of them and this is a good enough reason for me personally to not let them win. Remember that change is inevitable and you have more control then you're aware of. I hope ive been helpful. Good luck