[Iamme2012]

It all started with a huge,busy and stressful day. I didn't want to be at work anymore.
I thought things would be better when I went home. Get to see my two little beauties and my wonderful wife. It wasn't. My family was great all night but there is something inside of me that is just red with anger. Something waiting to unleash. And I hate it.
My dog snapped at my 2 year old again and that was it for me. Big man that I am stomped into the living room and grabbed my dog and went upstairs. I put the dog on the bed and I lost it(in my head). I saw red and wanted to punch holes in everything. I wanted to smash my mirror and cut every inch of myself with it. I wanted to cut my own throat and bleed out on the floor.
I don't deserve the life that I have. I should be such a happy guy, but I'm not. I Cant find it. I can't find that spark.
I'm only here still because of my daughters. I love them so much.
Only recently have these feelings and thoughts been inside of me. I don't smile. I don't laugh. I feel like I'm just a whiny little ****.
Big sigh. Boo hoo. Woe is me.

I don't see where the whiny little **** part comes in. You have something big bothering you and you don't know what to do about it. You get to ***** about things like that... but then you have to start working on finding out what's wrong and how to fix it. When was the last time you had a vacation or had some fun?
Any chance of you getting some counseling/therapy to find out what's going on?
I think anyone would have reacted to the dog snapping at your child even if the dog is yours. That isn't good.
Hang in there and take care. You can figure this out.

[Leed]

I think George is right. There's something at the core of this that is eating at you and you either don't know what it is, or you're afraid to vocalize it. Do you KNOW what it is? Are you afraid to say it? Are you afraid of what people will think? Are you sick of married life? Is that it?

You do need to speak with a therapist and get some counseling. And you should do this before this rage really BLOWS and you actually do something. No one wants you to hurt yourself -- that would be a tragedy, and your girls would be devastated!!! Don't even THINK about it. Call your medical doctor -- talk to him and have him refer you to a good therapist. He'll know who you should go to. And get an appointment as SOON as possible, ok? Please do this -- it's not only for YOUR own good, but for the good of your family too. God bless and please take care, my friend. Hugs, Lee
P.S. -- PLEASE let us know how you come out, ok?