[Lady999]

Well, just the thought of writing about myself gives me anxiety. I'm not sure I can do this, or see the point really...

That's the thing, I'm not sure I can do anything anymore. It's as though I've stopped living. I've given up, and I'm only 29 years old. It's been a few years since I've felt good, or at least hopeful about the future.

It's a sad truth. And the worst part is waking up with this attitude every morning, dragging myself out of bed, and reminding myself to breathe.

[RunningEagleRuns]

Life can be tough. life can get better too though. good luck

Welcome to pc Lady999,
I'm in a bad struggle with depression myself...I may not know how to help. Its like that for me every morning. I hope you find help. Here and with a doctor or therapist. I'm finding a lot of good people on here...you will too.

[Onward2wards]

I call that "toxic discouragement". It sucks. I have slowly learned to recognize it and attack it. By giving up and giving in, we only add insult to injury. It doesn't change anything for the better, it only creates more problems. It's like kicking yourself when you are down. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, so why do I persist in doing this to myself? These are the thoughts which help me reject giving up, although I still find it a big challenge when that mood strikes. I wish you luck.

[Ladyzero]

Lady999, Hello, I'm Ladyzero, welcome to P.C. You are in good company here. Don't be anxious talking it helps a lot. If you go to my profile and click to see where I've posted, you'll see some pretty pitiful, miserable bleetings of mine. How my life is spent, ( in bed 24/7 ) how unhappy I am, etc. I don't suffer with any of the problems many people here do, both mentally and some physically. For me it's just a crippling depression, but pain is pain, and we all are suffering in our own way. It's not a competition, who hurts the most, and no one judges. When I read some posts I want to give myself a right kick up the a r s e for wallowing in my misery soup. Anything to get motivated to get help would be a start for me, as I've let my dep take my spirit and zest, this last year. I've not lived, just existed. People here have posted such kind words to me, and it's so touching, because I am just one person, one, in this sea of many people here. That they have bothered to reply is heart warming, afterall they could just walk by, they are dealing with their own pain. Why bother with me, a stranger, a right royal miserable b i t * h at that !

I do try to give something back, if I read a post and can offer some advice or just a hug.
You will see here other people with the same problems as you, look around the forums, and make friends. Private message me if you'd like privacy to chat. I'm here most days as my schedule is somewhat lacking, and empty. I don't work at the moment, and I enjoy this site very much, both the receiving and giving.

So pull up a chair, my dear, and I'll make us all a nice cup of tea, and we'll chat .......

[Coma Patient 7]

Let it fly, don't hold back express yourself. It can't be any worse then most of what's been posted here by me.

I'm sorry you feel this way, it's a ruff place to be speaking from experience. I tend to feel like that when I'm mentally bored or fatigued, this often causes me to over-think negatively. Anything from the past that you found interesting, that you may want to learn or re-learn? or possibly a hobby?

Another possibility is diet, dehydration or a deficiency (vitiman, amino-acid/fatty acid, etc).

Hope you feel better soon.

[RJ78]

Hi, welcome to the forum. I felt similar to you the first time I had a major depressive episode and it lasted for 4 years, when I was 27-31 years old. It's back again now, but I have an expanded support team and feel much more comfortable reaching out to people. I'm glad you took the initiative to say hi and share your story.

Please keep us posted!

RJ

[Vossie42]

Hi, Lady999, welcome to the forum! I struggle with depression, too, and feel I have given up. I think I gave up years ago yet I'm still alive. Not sure why. Maybe there's still some hope buried deep inside me like there might be in you. If you're not on medication, give it a try. They can lessen the depression enough for you to work on the issues causing your depression.

Reach out to us anytime.

[Lady999]

I started taking meds 3-4 years ago. I quit the antidepressants in August. I'm depressed, unemployed, broke, in debt, and severely troubled. The meds help me cope with issues, but they don't help me change them. So, I quit. All I want to do is sleep. Days, weeks, months, years are passing by and nothing is changing. I'm not changing. My life isn't evolving. I don't feel passionate anymore. I had passion, ambition, dreams, and goals. I was excited about pursuing my career. I earned a BA, and MFA in my field. And, I lost hope. I've been working at dead-end jobs, making no money. I've borrowed money from friends and family who I can't payback. I've isolated myself from everyone. Everyone except my bf, who I live with. He takes care of me and I'm 100% dependent on him. This terrifies me. Being dependent on him terrifies me. I feel like I have nothing to offer the relationship. He's a homebody, and I'm becoming one as well. I live with him, in our safe little apartment, sleeping my life away... He believes that eventually I'll find my way again, and sometimes I think so too. But most days I'm paralyzed, without a clue what to do. Thanks for listening.

[kharmarulz]

Hi Lady I'm fairly new here but I have found it helpful the folks are friendly and full of info. I'ts a nice distraction from my non existent routine. I'm Glad I found these folks and I'm sure you will be too.