[onlytime]

I've been having a really hard time the past few weeks, especially at night. I feel so hopeless/empty/desperate and it feels like nothing I do eases the pain. I have a really hard time putting how I feel into words, but it feels like my heart is aching and the sadness/emptiness will completely engulf me, and that's really scary.

I don't know what to do when I feel like this. I have suicidal thoughts but I know I'm not going to act on them (though sometimes I wish I "had the guts" to just do it...though I know logically it actually takes courage to live, blah blah blah). It FEELS like a crisis, but I know I'm not in imminent danger to myself so I don't need to go to the ER or anything. Even if I did need to go, I don't think it would help anyway.

I called my T already, but she won't be able to get back to me until tomorrow at the earliest. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the evening/night

Sorry if this comes off as incoherent or overly dramatic. That's really not my intention. I guess I just needed someone somewhere to know that I'm not okay. Thanks for listening.

[oceancries]

I know exactly how you feel. Thats how i tend to feel all the time. All you have to remember is the people that love you and that theyre all that matter. And that you have so much potential and that theres no one who can replace you.

[onlytime]

Originally Posted by oceancries

I know exactly how you feel. Thats how i tend to feel all the time. All you have to remember is the people that love you and that theyre all that matter. And that you have so much potential and that theres no one who can replace you.

Thank you so much for your reply. I really needed the hug and the reminder that I do matter, even if I don't feel like it right now. I'm sorry you feel this way too I hope it gets better for both of us!

[oceancries]

Originally Posted by onlytime

Thank you so much for your reply. I really needed the hug and the reminder that I do matter, even if I don't feel like it right now. I'm sorry you feel this way too I hope it gets better for both of us!

You're welcome, onlytime. And thank you. I hope so too. And in due time, things will get better. Have you ever heard the expression of that behind every rain cloud there is a rainbow and that at the end of every tunnel there is light? Well it wont be long before that rainbow shines through for us or until we see the light in life.

[onlytime]

Have you ever heard the expression of that behind every rain cloud there is a rainbow and that at the end of every tunnel there is light? Well it wont be long before that rainbow shines through for us or until we see the light in life.

I love that expression! I really hope you're right - I guess we'll have to hang in there to find out!