[njbjpdjadm221]

A few months ago, I was talking to one of my professors about my depression. She suggested some things that I could do to make myself feel better. She also suggested that I speak to my family doctor to get antidepressants. I'm starting to consider seriously doing this, but every time I do think I actually will, I always back down because I'm doubtful and think I can't because I'm too scared.

The semester is over and I would like to keep in touch with this professor in the meantime. I have another class with her next semester. I'd like to just let her know that I'm thinking about taking her advice. My problem is I just don't know how to say it. I feel like I'll just be emailing her out of the blue with no real purpose other than to bother her, because the class is over. I also worry that she'll think that I'm a burden and be like,"Why are you telling me this? This is too much information. I don't really care about my students' personal lives." I don't know how to word the email so to make sure she doesn't think something like that.

She just seems like she actually cares about me and I'd like to thank her for that. She's the first person in a very long time that I've actually felt like I'd be able to connect with, but I guess I could be misreading her. I'm not very good at figuring out who people are. Since our conversation, she really hasn't spoken to me much at all so I'm really not sure if she cares about me or not. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't though. Yesterday we were talking for a minute and she told me it was a pleasure to have me in her class and I didn't answer her. She was trying to get me to smile and I didn't. Now, I think she thinks I'm a jerk and a really rude person. I wasn't ignoring her but now I feel really bad about not speaking to her. I feel like I need to apologize to her too.

What would you say to her? Do you think sending her an email would be inappropriate? Any advice would be extremely helpful.

[awebb198488]

I could relate a lot to your post. I often worry about being a "burden" to people, especially when talking about my depression. I don't think it would be inappropriate to send your former professor and email letting her know how much you appreciated her kind words and help when you were going through a difficult time. I'm betting she would appreciate your taking the time to do that. Other than that, I think it's a good idea to talk to your doctor about the way you have been feeling. I was scared when I first went to the doctor too. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. But I needed to remember and you should too that depression is an illness. It isn't something that we can control and therefore we have nothing to be ashamed about. I hope things work out for you. In the meantime, keep us posted on here and feel free to PM me anytime to talk.

[Leed]

I don't see anything wrong with e-mailing the professor. Like awebb said, it would be a compliment in that you thought enough of her to apologize for not acknowleding her when she spoke to you. Also, you can just add that you are still depressed, and tell her you're scared of taking antidepressants.

I'd like to add that I'm on antidepressants and have been for probably 40 years! Can you believe that? I'm clinically depressed, and without them I can't even function. There is nothing to be ashamed of or scared of. I thank God there is something like antidepressants for those of us who are depressed. Depression is an ILLNESS and is recognized by the American Medical Society as just that -- and Illness. It's also recognized by many other societies as an illness too, so it's nothing to be scoffed at. It can be very serious!

So please don't be scared. Just tell your doctor the facts - and I'm sure he'll understand and act accordingly. But you should be treated. I wish you the very BEST. God bless you and please take care. Big hugs, Lee

[Khym]

It's usually a mistake to try to figure people out. You can never know what is going on in their heads. But, everyone likes to hear that what they've said or done has made a difference.