So Confused

Yesterday I took a final for one of my classes. I had been studying all weekend in order to take this test. Anyway, it wasn't that hard. It was one of those tests where if you actually studied what you were supposed to study, there is no way you could fail. So I know for a fact I aced the test and I completed the semester with an A in that class. I thought that this would make me feel really happy, but it didn't. As soon as I left the classroom, I went into a bathroom stall and cried. When I got home from school, I cried off and on for the rest of the day. My mom came home from work and all I wanted was hugs from her. I couldn't tell her why I was so clingy, so she was a little annoyed. I know this was strange behavior.

What is wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you. We all need love. Try to feel proud of yourself for finishing out the semester with such a great grade. The holidays don't make this time of the year easy and probably makes most of us with depression worse than we usually are. There isn't necessarily a reason or cause. Hang in there. Hopefully by the time your grades come in you will feel better and be able to appreciate your own hard work.

You may have been under more pressure than you thought. Sometimes you can hold things together until the crisis or event that you feared has passed, and then fall apart.

If you have a history of depression, you may have expected to feel better once you got the test out of the way, and then found that doing well on the test didn't solve the problem. That is fairly common. Thinking that "if I could just do this or acheive that, I'll feel better and life will be better". Some people go their whole lives jumping from one thing to the next, always convinced that it will solve all their problems. Facing something that has caused us emotional pain is not easy.

I may be way off on this, but if you find that there is a pattern of behavior that lands you back to how you felt after taking your exam, you need to look further in and identify the problem so that you can get some help.

My appologies if I'm overstepping my bounds here. Something sent you to this forum though, and usually an incident like the one you described is not a one time thing or it wouldn't make you so uncomfortable.

Sam2