[Jcwinpain]

I am new here. I tried another support group last year when my dad was battling a rare disease. He passed last may. His death was sudden and left me alone as he was not married and I have noI siblings. I am unhappily married and have 2 kids and did teach 4th grade until a week ago when i got so bad i had to take a leave. Nine months ago even though i know it is wrong. I fell in love with another man and recently Bc others found out he is now ignoring me until he claims enough time passes. I do believe we are equally in love and as much pain. I have been depressed for months now and suffered on and off my whole life with it. I'm on Meds. Its not working. I can't eat and stay in bed all day except when I have to use all my inner strength to play Mommie to my 4 and 6 year olds. I don't know what to do. I am so depressed and lost and feel like I have not got any purpose and feel like death would be easier. But i would nevrt do that because pf my children. In all my years of depression I have never felt pain like this ever. please help.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Jcwinpain. Wow. Long-term depression plus depressing, stressful events -- a bad combination.

In all my years of depression I have never felt pain like this ever.

So this is new, unique. Do you have a doctor or professional to whom you can turn with those specifics?

[whimsygirl]

Hello and welcome Jcwinpain....I'm so sorry about all you're dealing with. Actually I mainly want to echo what Rohag has said in his post, as it was pretty much what I was about to write. Depression itself is a huge thing to deal with, but from what I understand there are a lot of external factors in your life that tie in. Sounds like there's a lot of "untangling" to do, and that's why there are so many caring professionals out there who have the most knowledge about such things....and therefore the most ability to help. If you have not already, I hope you will reach out to them. Best Wishes ~whimsy ps....If you have a primary care doctor who you like then you might start there, or if not then perhaps with your county's Health and Human Services Department ~Mental Health branch.

[Jcwinpain]

I can't express how much your comments meant to me. I have a therapist I see twice a week who is helpful. I also am working with a psychiatrist to get my Meds right. I have a lot of support from mom and friends but they don't all understand. I am hoping time will heal and bring me to a better place. I just feel so lost and alone right now. Thanks again