[grichards]

I've had depression for most of my life. It has impacted how I work and relate to other people. Recently I've just not been able to do my work and have let some people down that I think the world of. I feel horrible and can't get past it. It makes me feel worse than I ever have. How have others learned to forgive themselves?

Welcome grichards!
I hope you are able to get some answers that you are looking for here in the forum.

I too have suffered from depression most of my life. My Therapist says that I have to forgive myself but this is hard for me because of my chronically low self worth. It takes a lot for me to forgive myself, and there is always a backlash against myself after I do. I wish I had a good answer for you, but you are not alone in this arena, forgiving ones self is the key to happiness and I know it, but that does not make it one bit easier to do.
So to answer your question, for me learing to forgive myself is an ongoing work in progress.

[TerryL]

I don't know what happened at work but was someone physically harmed? or is there a way to make amends?

[Sam2]

If you had a good relationship with your boss, it might be a good ideal to talk to him/her in private and let them know what is going on. I know its hard and might be embarrassing, but its better for your supervisor to know what is happening to you rather than come to their own conclusions. You might be able to work out a leave of absence or change in how many hours you are pulling. A good supervisor can then inform anyone who needs to be informed and keep it quiet.

I don't know if trying to appologize to your collegues at this point is a good idea. If you are in the middle of a crisis, your going to be more apt to overdo the appologies, and blame yourself even more than you normally would. Besides, depression is an illness just as much as meningitis or some chronic physical illness. Would you feel the need to appologize if you fell and broke your leg and had to work part time or couldn't pull your weight as you had been?

Having been in the position of having a depression related crisis at work in the past, (years of depression with intermittent crisies), co workers seem to deal with decreased productivity when they know there is a problem. When coworkers don't have to come to thier own conclusions, and understand your situation, they tend to be concerned and helpful. You know the people you work with and probably have a feel for how your super would react, so you are the only one who can make that decision.

It is hard to forgive yourself when you are depressed. Sometimes I think part of being depressed is the ability to be creative about how many things we can blame on ourselves. What helps me decide if something is my fault, is to ask myself "if this were someone else with the same problem, would I blame them or feel more like helping them". If I can honestly say that I'd blame them, then its usually justified, but nine times out of ten, I wouldn't think they deserved the punishment. Just a self check. Can't say it always works, but it helps.

Sam2

[awebb198488]

How do we forgive ourselves? That sure is a good question. I wish I had a good answer for you but I don't. Learning to forgive myself is an ongoing process for me. My best advice would be to fine a good therapist to talk to. Mine is helping me a great deal.

[Stardusted]

Originally Posted by grichards

I've had depression for most of my life. It has impacted how I work and relate to other people. Recently I've just not been able to do my work and have let some people down that I think the world of. I feel horrible and can't get past it. It makes me feel worse than I ever have. How have others learned to forgive themselves?

I know what you mean. When I get so depressed I hate the world and just want everyone to either make me feel better or go away.

[di meliora]

How to Forgive Yourself