[thatright]

Hi all

Happy new to you all.

I need advice regarding what I believe to be workplace bullying. Here is my story. I really need advice. Thank you!

I work as a Mental Health Supporter for a residential home. This is my first paid job. I have been working here for almost five months now. I am a very highly sensitive person. I suffered from a lot of anxiety and low confidence when I started the job. A lot of the duties I relied on the other experienced staff to train me. I was thrown into the deep end at the beginning. My anxiety caused me to have a few incidents where one of the service user's I was giving medication to, swallowed mouthwash.

Eventually I got used the routine and was able to stand on my own two feet. My anxiety got better. Mostly my anxiety was caused by being judged by the other staff. Where I thought I was getting better with my performance, the manager would say well done but the next day, in front of the deputy manager, told her I couldn't do the cleaning. Even though the previous day, she told me well done.

A month after starting my job, changes started to happen in the workplace. One of the service user's started calling some of the staff racial names. I walked into a room and overheard the manger telling the deputy manager, that her and another member of staff found it weird how this service user started saying these comments straight after I started the role. I felt she was blaming me but the manager made it clear that she was not blaming me.

I look after patients with mental health issues. One of the patients I support is a young man. He is quite withdrawn. He doesn't open at all to anyone. Isolates himself in his room for long periods of time. Quite anxious around people. In the evening, his mood lifts and he interacts with staff and other patients.

Since I started this job, I have found working with the other staff quite difficult. I don't agree with the approach they show this young man. He gets quite moody and they raise their voice to him which makes him more irritable. I have seen abuse take place.

I believe the patients should be treated with kindness and respect. I use a friendly, caring attitude towards them. I really want to help by making a difference in their lives.

Since I have started this job, I have managed to make a breakthrough with this young man. He has managed to open up to me. After a great period of time, we have managed to develop a bond. There is trust from both sides. He feels comfortable with talking to me. Smiles when he sees me. He says, I always make him feel better when he sees me.

Now he has something wrong with his blood, doctors are not sure what. When he rushes up from his bed, he shakes (has fits) and then faints. A couple of times I have been there when he has fainted.One day, he came out of his room and started to shake. In front of an Agency Staff, the manager asked me, what am I doing to him? He seems to shake everytime he sees me. I was very angry that she had made a comment like this. Worse of all, she had said it in front of another staff.

One day the manager pulled me aside and commented on me and this young man's relationship. She thinks my kindness can be seen as abuse. Regarding his falls, she is accusing me of abusing him. She thinks that my kindness is seen as I am trying to portray his lover or his mum. She feels emotional attachment between carer and patient is abuse. But I don't see the same thing. If you are building trust. Why is that abuse?

This young man has a history of self harming. She even accused me of being a reason for him to self harm. She said, he has never done this before. She even accused me off trying to invade in his space. She told me not to go in his room and to give him space. Because he may feel awkward around me. If that's the case, then I may no longer be able to work where I am working.

Also she told me, with this young man, he rarely faints. If he continues to faint, it looks bad for her. She doesn't want to be reported for anything.

I was really confused why she is saying all this. She even told me she discussed this with his CPN. I really don't understand.

She had an inspector come round. He commented on the house being dirty. She blamed me for that as well. The house has bed bugs. Three service user's bedrooms have tons of them. A few bed bugs came into the staff room. She blamed for this thinking I have been sitting in the service user's rooms talking to them. I have seen staff allow the resident's to come into the staff room. This could be why the staff room has been bed bugs.

I was becoming fed up with being blamed for things I had no part of. Everytime I have defended myself, the manager doesn't believe me. I am getting depressed about this. Everytime the manager comes in, she constantly critizes me. I feel incredibly stressed around her. When I make mistakes, she has a go at me. I feel my performance is getting bad. I can't focus on my work. I don't know what to do.

Another incident took place last week, we have a painter painting the house. He came back to finish off the painting. The manager phoned to say, the settees were on their way to be delivered. She asked who was with me. She seemed desperate when she knew it was only me. She asked me to put three single chairs into three service user's bedroom. I froze when she gave me instructions. Me and the painter put the two double chairs into the resident's bedroom. We almost killed ourselves. We struggled and got tired.

The manager came in around 12ish. After I supported one resident with giving her a shower, the manager had a go at me. I had followed her instructions incorrectly. I apologized because I didn't know what else to say. She had a go at me right in front of the painter. I had put two double chairs into two serivce user's rooms.

I went downstairs to start the lunch. Suddenly I felt anxiety coming on. I was feeling incredibly scared. Couldn't breathe. I felt like I was trapped in a cage. I needed to get out. I sat down and my head ached. I felt like I was in a constant rush. My head was racing with so many thoughts. I stayed away from the manager. This way she couldn't have a go at me.

I was writing out my notes and she asked me a few questions about the heating. She wanted to know how the heating was last night. I told her, it was hot. But she meant the radiators. I didn't check the radiators because the electric heating had been on. I completed my paperwork and asked what to do next? The manager suggested for me to take one resident out for a walk.

The service user was constantly moaning."I don't want to go out. I want a cup of tea." We walked down the road and she wouldn't stop moaning. I felt anxious and angry. So I just ignored her moaning. We got back and I asked her to take her coat upstairs. She started moaning again. I might fall. I thought she was trying to be lazy. I thought she just wanted me to take it up for her. So I walked up the stairs and stood at the top of the stairs, asking to her take it to her room. The Manager came downstairs and asked what is going on? So I told her. The Manager asked me to take the resident's coat and put it in her room. So I did.

The same resident kept asking me to make her a cup of tea, cereal, fetch her dressing gown all morning. The manager has always made it clear that we cannot do things for the residents. They have to be indepdent and do things themselves. But we must give support. So when I asked her, to take the coat upstairs. I kept that in my mind.

The next staff came in and I gave her a quick handover. I felt a little anxious with the manager standing there. I didn't want to mention about the chairs. But after the manager left the room, I quickly mentioned it. The manager walked in and asked to speak to me. I followed her into the kitchen. She asked me, if everything was okay? So I nodded yes. She felt something was wrong because she had given me clear instructions about the chairs and I didn't follow them through. Then she told me, what happened with the service user with the coat was unacceptable. She felt the resident was distressed. She could have fallen down the stairs. Because of the wet paint and the carpet. The manager felt if she hadn't been there, I would have forced the resident to come up the stairs and she may have fallen down. I tried to explain to her, that all morning the resident has been asking me to do things for her. But she didn't want to hear it. So I felt it was best not to say anything at all. The manager said, she was going to write what happened down. She told me, if I have any problems, I have to inform her so she can support me. I told her, I was having family issues. I couldn't tell her why I was feeling anxious becuase of her.The tears fell down my face and I rushed out the door.

Got to the bus stop and the other staff phoned me. I had forgotten to handover that another resiedent was at the day centre and someone needs to pick her up. Got on the bus and felt incredibly hurt. Phoned up mum and broke down in tears.

I checked my emails yesterday and the manager wrote up an incident report on the resident on the stairs. I read it and was incredibly shocked. She has made me out to be a person who abused this woman. This resident did not ask for help. I thought you cannot do things for them. They must do things for themselves. She claims I failed to carry out instructions and caused distress for other residents by putting wrong furniture into their rooms. She wants me to sign it. But I don't agree with it.

The Manager is on holiday for the next two weeks and I am feeling incredibly stressed. I am on six months probation and strongly feel I will not get this job. I don't know why I am being blamed for things that I have no control over. I have defended myself but I get ignored. I getjudged all the time. I am feeling incredibly depressed about this.

Please can someone advise me please? I haven't signed the report. Is this bullying? Being blamed for things. It feels like she is urging to get rid of me in case I may get her into trouble. What with this young man fainting?

Please help!!!!

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by thatright

Hi all

Happy new to you all.

I need advice regarding what I believe to be workplace bullying. Here is my story. I really need advice. Thank you!

I work as a Mental Health Supporter for a residential home. This is my first paid job. I have been working here for almost five months now. I am a very highly sensitive person. I suffered from a lot of anxiety and low confidence when I started the job. A lot of the duties I relied on the other experienced staff to train me. I was thrown into the deep end at the beginning. My anxiety caused me to have a few incidents where one of the service user's I was giving medication to, swallowed mouthwash.

Eventually I got used the routine and was able to stand on my own two feet. My anxiety got better. Mostly my anxiety was caused by being judged by the other staff. Where I thought I was getting better with my performance, the manager would say well done but the next day, in front of the deputy manager, told her I couldn't do the cleaning. Even though the previous day, she told me well done.

A month after starting my job, changes started to happen in the workplace. One of the service user's started calling some of the staff racial names. I walked into a room and overheard the manger telling the deputy manager, that her and another member of staff found it weird how this service user started saying these comments straight after I started the role. I felt she was blaming me but the manager made it clear that she was not blaming me.

I look after patients with mental health issues. One of the patients I support is a young man. He is quite withdrawn. He doesn't open at all to anyone. Isolates himself in his room for long periods of time. Quite anxious around people. In the evening, his mood lifts and he interacts with staff and other patients.

Since I started this job, I have found working with the other staff quite difficult. I don't agree with the approach they show this young man. He gets quite moody and they raise their voice to him which makes him more irritable. I have seen abuse take place.

I believe the patients should be treated with kindness and respect. I use a friendly, caring attitude towards them. I really want to help by making a difference in their lives.

Since I have started this job, I have managed to make a breakthrough with this young man. He has managed to open up to me. After a great period of time, we have managed to develop a bond. There is trust from both sides. He feels comfortable with talking to me. Smiles when he sees me. He says, I always make him feel better when he sees me.

Now he has something wrong with his blood, doctors are not sure what. When he rushes up from his bed, he shakes (has fits) and then faints. A couple of times I have been there when he has fainted.One day, he came out of his room and started to shake. In front of an Agency Staff, the manager asked me, what am I doing to him? He seems to shake everytime he sees me. I was very angry that she had made a comment like this. Worse of all, she had said it in front of another staff.

One day the manager pulled me aside and commented on me and this young man's relationship. She thinks my kindness can be seen as abuse. Regarding his falls, she is accusing me of abusing him. She thinks that my kindness is seen as I am trying to portray his lover or his mum. She feels emotional attachment between carer and patient is abuse. But I don't see the same thing. If you are building trust. Why is that abuse?

This young man has a history of self harming. She even accused me of being a reason for him to self harm. She said, he has never done this before. She even accused me off trying to invade in his space. She told me not to go in his room and to give him space. Because he may feel awkward around me. If that's the case, then I may no longer be able to work where I am working.

Also she told me, with this young man, he rarely faints. If he continues to faint, it looks bad for her. She doesn't want to be reported for anything.

I was really confused why she is saying all this. She even told me she discussed this with his CPN. I really don't understand.

She had an inspector come round. He commented on the house being dirty. She blamed me for that as well. The house has bed bugs. Three service user's bedrooms have tons of them. A few bed bugs came into the staff room. She blamed for this thinking I have been sitting in the service user's rooms talking to them. I have seen staff allow the resident's to come into the staff room. This could be why the staff room has been bed bugs.

I was becoming fed up with being blamed for things I had no part of. Everytime I have defended myself, the manager doesn't believe me. I am getting depressed about this. Everytime the manager comes in, she constantly critizes me. I feel incredibly stressed around her. When I make mistakes, she has a go at me. I feel my performance is getting bad. I can't focus on my work. I don't know what to do.

Another incident took place last week, we have a painter painting the house. He came back to finish off the painting. The manager phoned to say, the settees were on their way to be delivered. She asked who was with me. She seemed desperate when she knew it was only me. She asked me to put three single chairs into three service user's bedroom. I froze when she gave me instructions. Me and the painter put the two double chairs into the resident's bedroom. We almost killed ourselves. We struggled and got tired.

The manager came in around 12ish. After I supported one resident with giving her a shower, the manager had a go at me. I had followed her instructions incorrectly. I apologized because I didn't know what else to say. She had a go at me right in front of the painter. I had put two double chairs into two serivce user's rooms.

I went downstairs to start the lunch. Suddenly I felt anxiety coming on. I was feeling incredibly scared. Couldn't breathe. I felt like I was trapped in a cage. I needed to get out. I sat down and my head ached. I felt like I was in a constant rush. My head was racing with so many thoughts. I stayed away from the manager. This way she couldn't have a go at me.

I was writing out my notes and she asked me a few questions about the heating. She wanted to know how the heating was last night. I told her, it was hot. But she meant the radiators. I didn't check the radiators because the electric heating had been on. I completed my paperwork and asked what to do next? The manager suggested for me to take one resident out for a walk.

The service user was constantly moaning."I don't want to go out. I want a cup of tea." We walked down the road and she wouldn't stop moaning. I felt anxious and angry. So I just ignored her moaning. We got back and I asked her to take her coat upstairs. She started moaning again. I might fall. I thought she was trying to be lazy. I thought she just wanted me to take it up for her. So I walked up the stairs and stood at the top of the stairs, asking to her take it to her room. The Manager came downstairs and asked what is going on? So I told her. The Manager asked me to take the resident's coat and put it in her room. So I did.

The same resident kept asking me to make her a cup of tea, cereal, fetch her dressing gown all morning. The manager has always made it clear that we cannot do things for the residents. They have to be indepdent and do things themselves. But we must give support. So when I asked her, to take the coat upstairs. I kept that in my mind.

The next staff came in and I gave her a quick handover. I felt a little anxious with the manager standing there. I didn't want to mention about the chairs. But after the manager left the room, I quickly mentioned it. The manager walked in and asked to speak to me. I followed her into the kitchen. She asked me, if everything was okay? So I nodded yes. She felt something was wrong because she had given me clear instructions about the chairs and I didn't follow them through. Then she told me, what happened with the service user with the coat was unacceptable. She felt the resident was distressed. She could have fallen down the stairs. Because of the wet paint and the carpet. The manager felt if she hadn't been there, I would have forced the resident to come up the stairs and she may have fallen down. I tried to explain to her, that all morning the resident has been asking me to do things for her. But she didn't want to hear it. So I felt it was best not to say anything at all. The manager said, she was going to write what happened down. She told me, if I have any problems, I have to inform her so she can support me. I told her, I was having family issues. I couldn't tell her why I was feeling anxious becuase of her.The tears fell down my face and I rushed out the door.

Got to the bus stop and the other staff phoned me. I had forgotten to handover that another resiedent was at the day centre and someone needs to pick her up. Got on the bus and felt incredibly hurt. Phoned up mum and broke down in tears.

I checked my emails yesterday and the manager wrote up an incident report on the resident on the stairs. I read it and was incredibly shocked. She has made me out to be a person who abused this woman. This resident did not ask for help. I thought you cannot do things for them. They must do things for themselves. She claims I failed to carry out instructions and caused distress for other residents by putting wrong furniture into their rooms. She wants me to sign it. But I don't agree with it.

The Manager is on holiday for the next two weeks and I am feeling incredibly stressed. I am on six months probation and strongly feel I will not get this job. I don't know why I am being blamed for things that I have no control over. I have defended myself but I get ignored. I getjudged all the time. I am feeling incredibly depressed about this.

Please can someone advise me please? I haven't signed the report. Is this bullying? Being blamed for things. It feels like she is urging to get rid of me in case I may get her into trouble. What with this young man fainting?

Please help!!!!

I'm sorry I didn't notice this sooner. Hopefully I'm not too late. There is a lot wrong with our health system these days. Health workers are overworked and underpaid and the burnout rate is unbelievable. There is also lawsuits, something that all health professionals fear.

That doesn't give them an excuse to treat you with disrespect and lay blame on you as they are. It sounds like there is true abuse going on there, both of the patients and of you. Despite the fact that you may feel you are doing some good there, when they go down, they will drag you with them, blaming you all the way. The first things I think I'd do in a situation like that would be to make an annonymous call to the health board and describe some of the abuse you have been seeing. They are not allowed to give your name out. Secondly, do you realy want to be a part of a system that treats people with disrespect and abuse? I know the job market is terrible, but if your moral compass says its wrong, get out.

People who are either physically or psychiatrically vulnerable are easy to take advantage of. As a young man in my twenties, I went through an excellerated LPN program and spent a lot of time on the floor at a local hospital. One older woman had been found laying on her bathroom floor where she had fallen days before. She had decubiti (pressure sores), from laying on the hard floor in the same position so long. She could not talk, so when the Dr.s and nurses came in to debride the wounds, she was given nothing for pain. She would lay there in her bed as the Dr.s cut and scraped away dead flesh until the area would bleed. Tears would run down her face, but she was unable to communicate or tell her family what was going on. That incident and several others like it convinced me that human medicine was not what I wanted to do. These people can't stand up for themselves and those abusing them will blame the low man on the totem pole.

I was in the hospital about six years ago after I had a bad reactin to an IV drug a nurse had given to me. She checked the IV site before, during and after the infusion to make sure that it did not infiltrate the tissue. When my hand turned blue, all h... broke loose, Dr.s from everywhere. I almost lost my hand. What really angered me was that the Dr.s kept blaming the nurse for "incompetence" and letting the tissue be infiltrated. Once i was more with it, I told the nuerologist off big time. The nurse had done everything correctly. She just happened to be an "underling" and the Dr.s were afraid of a law suit.

Honestly, report the abuse and get yourself out of there. You can do a lot of good for people in distress, but not if they are going to tie your hands, blame you for patient abuse and when it hits the fan, throw you into the flames. You don't want to be a part of this mess, and as an individual, you cannot stop it. Let the authorities deal with it and find yourself a place worthy of someone like you.

Sam2

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by thatright

Hi all

Happy new to you all.

I need advice regarding what I believe to be workplace bullying. Here is my story. I really need advice. Thankyou!...........................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
I checked my emails yesterday and the manager wrote up an incident report on the resident on the stairs. I read it and was incredibly shocked. She has made me out to be a person who abused this woman. This resident did not ask for help. I thought you cannot do things for them. They must do things for themselves. She claims I failed to carry out instructions and caused distress for other residents by putting wrong furniture into their rooms. She wants me to sign it. But I don't agree with it.

The Manager is on holiday for the next two weeks and I am feeling incredibly stressed. I am on six months probation and strongly feel I will not get this job. I don't know why I am being blamed for things that I have no control over. I have defended myself but I get ignored. I getjudged all the time. I am feeling incredibly depressed about this.

Please can someone advise me please? I haven't signed the report. Is this bullying? Being blamed for things. It feels like she is urging to get rid of me in case I may get her into trouble. What with this young man fainting?

Please help!!!!

If this a way to save money by the management is to get rid of workers on probation, then
this is an example of institutional bullying.

If this is a personal issue that the manager has with you, then it is workplace bullying.

This workplace is not a good place for you to work. Paperwork regarding the incidents mentioned would be needed to firmly protect your position. Unfortunately, the manager appears to be doing all the paperwork that is one sided and against you. There appears no balanced view of looking at all the facts. I doubt that would be done.

I know an union would try to help protect the workers from this type of harrassment/intimidation tactics, but I am sure there is no union at your workplace. At least(with a union), all workers would be aware of management behaviors regarding the workplace. And if anyone else besides management expresses bullying behaviors, then we know your workplace is a toxic workplace. If management can only be pressurized by budget concerns by treating their workers like the way you were treated, then perhaps they should pay for mental health treatment.

Even in the public sector, there are toxic environments where the bully is promoted to another position. And nothing is corrected very quickly like the bullying treatment dished out by the bullies onto the workers, but done very slowly so perhaps people will forget about the workers who develop mental health issues because of the bullying toxic environment.

So, on the next job you get an interview you can explain toxic workplace environments to whoever interviews you and get an understanding of how the workers are treated by management.

Right now, I can not see how you can make through the probation period without all the bullying stuff from management.

If you have to sign anything, to each point that needs your input you need to explain all the facts. There has to be two copies with a note beside where you have to sign your name that indicates your side of these stories is on the attached page. This way you have a copy and they can not deny you did not explain anything.

And don't mention lawyer if asked, just say an advisor. If they verbally ask you stuff in person do not answer them but say you have to write everything down. You need paper and pencil to write down what is said so both parties can agree what was discussed.

Again, do not answer them if they ask if you have a lawyer. Let their imagination work for you. Other new applicants should be aware of these types of behaviors, too. I don't know what agency would be able help with that.

But I agree that you can't work at a place like this. It is not good for your mental health.
Hope you have a good new year's. Take care.