What is Reasonable?

I am being treated for depression and anxiety and I'm in a day treatment program. I will be finished with my day treatment program at the end of next week. My husband has asked me what I plan on doing after I get out of the program. I told him I don't know other than I plan on getting back to the gym for a regular workout schedule. I plan on going back to school in the fall and I'm not going to be taking any classes in the spring semester. He suggested perhaps I try to find a part time job.

We are in a financial situation where I don't have to work and I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years (we have a 3 and 7 yr old).

While I am on meds I'm still dealing with symptoms. I personally don't think working would be a good idea right now. I'm tired most of the time (thankfully my spirits are up) and I don't sleep well. I also am dealing with anxiety which is getting better. Right now my brain is 'full' if that makes any sense.

I'm not sure where my husband is coming from with the idea of me going back to work as we always talked about me staying home etc.... I plan on chatting with him about it. I did tell him that I don't want to get a job and give myself stress right now. I need this time to heal and not put additional stress on top of what I do as a stay at home mom and running the household. I want to keep busy for some hours out of the house but I would like to do something positive that will bring me some sense of self etc... I'm disappointed about not going to school in the spring as I don't have the ability to mentally 'focus'. According to the psychiatrist It could take 9 mnths to a year for me to get my 'brain back'.

Any thoughts?

I would find out what his concern is. Is this something someone else suggested to him as a solution for you? I think you will have enough on your plate.

Thank you for your reply. To me it does sound like someone suggested it to him. I'm going to talk to him today to figure out why he mentioned me going back to work. While my husband is also being treated for anxiety he doesn't get the depression part and how I'm still recovering from my breakdown and dealing with the depressive symptoms even though I'm on medication.

Keep you posted after the conversation.

geez,

I was going to say the same thing. It sounds like someone suggested it to him and he is just trying to be helpful.

Maybe a compromise is possible. I won't go into my own story but I can truly understand your feelings. I suspect your husband may feel that working could help you by virtue of the structure, the knowledge that you can earn money, have options, and the social contact that would come with the job. I wonder if you might consider first volunteering for a few hours a week at something that would not require great emotional investment or special skills (though, if you have skills or an interest, I encourage you to try---I have dragged myself to work believing I cannot be there, usually, once there, no matter what the job, I am ok---don't let fear stop you...sometimes when we want to pull in, we really do need to take a risk)---having children, you might consider volunteering at school---or just go on line and see what is available in your community)---another thought would be a part time job that is task oriented (a small shop, ....something else entirely)---your husband may need to assure you that you can quit if you find it overwhelming, or the atmosphere at work (or volunteering) is negative. But, from my own experience, I would say there is no harm in trying it. We are usually stronger than we believe, and believe me I have been to rock bottom emotionally and often hover somewhere betwixt and between. The important thing is to put one foot in front of the other, the worst that can happen is we fall down, run crying or screaming out a door, or feel no better; then one regroups and gets up again.

We had the conversation this morning and all I can say is I am extremely lucky to have such a supportive husband.

Winter you are right. My husband was thinking about what I'm going to do after my program ends. Right now the program is giving me structure and when I'm done with the program my structure will be gone. So what I'm going to do is add some structure to my life. Give myself two tasks to do in the house per day (fold laundry and cook dinner or wash the floors and cook dinner) in addition to helping with getting my kids ready in the morning and ready for bed at night. Outside of the house my structure will be to go to the gym almost every day for a class or have coffee with a friend etc... I also may be starting up with another weight loss support group that I was involved in before. I would also like to get involved in a support group for depression and anxiety if I can find one. In addition I'm going to sign up for ice skating lessons, yoga and spin. I figure if I keep myself busy in a positive way it can only help me feel better.

Geez,
I'm so happy you resolved this and your plans sound great!

Sounds like a good plan! That you and your husband can talk things through is wonderful. Take it one piece at a time, you have support and time.