[MessengerOfTrueLove]

I suffered from severe depression from the ages of 13 to 18. I dropped out of school and became addicted to drugs. I've attempted suicide and almost died from drug abuse. I have many scars on my body from self mutilation. Most everyone I knew, family and friends, had given up on me and I was spiraling down a path of self-destruction. It seemed there was no light on this earth and every person I met would either abandon me or hurt me. I shut myself off from the world. I stayed in my room all day and didn't speak a word for a very long time. I began starving myself and smoking two to three packs of cigarettes a day. I did many things with either the conscious or subconscious intent of tearing my life to pieces.

I had nearly destroyed myself before I found, what was for me, a cure; unconditional love and faith in Jesus Christ. Please hear me out if you are in a similar situation that I was. I'm 21 years old. I am not affiliated with any church. I don't even go to church. I wasn't raised christian and I've only been to a few churches a few times in my life. I am not affiliated with any denomination either. I have nothing to gain from sharing this deeply personal information. I just want to help anyone who will listen.

I had a near death experience and now I speak to Jesus more often than I speak to anyone else. Sometimes, I pray for hours with tears in my eyes. I feel unending sorrow when I see anything bad happening to anyone. I've read the Bible and certain books I have read repeatedly. I've developed a deep connection within my soul to Him.

I'm telling you this with all the sincerity in my heart. Jesus wants to help you no matter who you are or what you have done. It does not matter. He loves every soul unconditionally and you are one of these souls. If you can confess to him and ask for forgiveness then you will recieve forgiveness. Once you have accepted him into your heart and life, the healing will begin.

You have to be able to trust your life in his hands. There is no being in existance more worthy of your trust. He is unconditional love and he knows everything about you. He is with you now whether you choose to acknowledge his presence or not. He is knocking on the door to your heart and it is up to you to let him in.

Everyone makes a choice to live a life with him or a life of ignorant towards him. He can not help you if you shun him. In doing so, you open yourself to attacks from darker forces that he would other wise be protecting you from.

We have free will for a reason. He does not want slaves. He wants willing followers. For his followers to be willing, there must be an alternative to him. That is, a life with out him. It is your choice, your free will, which life you will live. That is the reason for our lives on this earth and the reason why bad things happen. Evil and injustice comes by the choices of men and influence of the fallen ones and these things will only be tolerated for a short time in the big picture. He will take your hand and lead you to his kingdom where you may dwell in peace and happiness for eternity if you simply ask him to.

Read the Gospels in the Bible, the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John because these are the most important books. Pray and speak to Jesus and the Father. He will listen and if you try hard enough you will feel him listening and feel his presence. Tell him everything, every guilty thing in your heart, everything that brings you pain and burdens you, everything your heart desires, everything you have to say and the things you don't want to say. You don't even have to speak it you can just think it and feel it inside you and he will hear you. Be honest, he knows your thoughts before you think them. He is the best listener in the universe and, after you have spilled your heart to him, you will feel comfort and peace with your new found faith. Everytime you feel depressed, turn to him and pray to him and he will comfort you. Read more of the Bible and continue on to the Book of Revelation, Genisis, and Psalms after reading those books you will want to read the rest. Just submit yourself to him freely and completely and he will do the rest.

The truth is, you do not need to go to church to be one with Jesus. All you need is faith and the desire to connect to him. I am not saying church is not good because church can help people. Church was not for me, however. I did not feel that I belonged and I disagreed with things that were being taught there. When I spoke out, I was rejected.

Be careful, there are many currupted churches in the world today who do not speak the whole truth. They either have been misguided or seek to misguide you. If you seek truth, do not seek it within another man, seek it within yourself. No earthly man can forgive your sins. You must confess and repent in prayer to The Father in Jesus' name. No one man is more connected than you are to Jesus, rather, more connected than you are capable of being. You just have to open yourself to him and take down the walls around your heart. Baptism does not guarantee heaven and neither does having one born again experience. These are things that bring him joy but if you, by your free will, choose to separate yourself from him by living without him in sin without repentence. He will let you do so because we have free will. Consequently, if you choose a life without him on earth, it is possible to end up with out him in death. Please, believe me when I tell you that you do not want to experience the realm that is void to him.

However, all you have to do is accept him and he will accept you. If you wish to become worthy he will make you worthy. The only soul he can not save is an unwilling one. If you want to love, he will teach you. If you want to be loved, he will show you how dearly he loves you.

In experiencing and returning his love, you will find the peace and comfort that you need. Recovery will not be instant. It will be gradual as you grow closer to him. He might not remove the things that are causing your depression, or maybe he will, but either way, he will teach you how to find peace in any situation through his unconditional love. It took me years but I recovered from the brink of self-destruction and now I live sober and free of depression.

Spiritual struggles and battles will lie ahead for you because there are forces that oppose him and they are running out of time. If you perservere and stay with him then he will stay with you and, in the end, you will find yourself in paradise. If you do not think you have the strength then pray and ask for the strength to perservere and you will find it. Much can be accomplished, emotionally and spiritually, through prayer.

Remember, faith and love are all you need. Pray when you need him and he will help you. Jesus loves you and wants to help you! Please, let him. Thank you and God bless you.

[LMo]

MessengerOfTrueLove: Welcome to PC. I am sending you a Private Message (PM) about this, so please check your Inbox.

PC Members: I am leaving this post for you to read, but am locking it to discourage direct public discussions about religion, per our Community Guidelines.

If you would like to discuss this topic with our new member, please do so via PM. Thanks,
LMo