Do you ever just feel stupid?

Do you ever just feel stupid when you're out in public for no reason? For example, last week I went to a college basketball game, and the whole time, I just felt really stupid. I am in the thick of a bad depressive episode, and seeing everyone so happy, and clapping, and yelling just made ME feel dumb for them. Then I really felt dumb when I would clap, or when the person I was there with would make me laugh. I felt stupid for laughing. It's not a small feeling that I can push away either. It's an all-consuming, draining feeling of stupidity thats hard to shake off and it makes me very self-conscious. It's the same feeling that I get all the time at school and when I'm shopping and stuff, but it was really bad at the game, and now I'm being *dragged* to another game, so it got me thinking, and now I've just been wondering if anyone else has experienced it.

Side note-hope everyone's doing okay.

Nomad

This reminds me of the story of the hipster criticizing the attendees of a football game for all acting and dressing alike, saying he prefers to attend plays. Then someone points out that at plays, everyone wears black and acts mopey. So my T studied philosophy and loves sports. I like that dichotomy and try to practice it myself.

I relate to your comment, Nomad17. I often feel stupid and totally disconnected to what is going on when I go to public things. One example... I went to a carol's night, really looking forward to sitting and listening to the songs. Then I discovered there was 'audience participation" and we were expected to stand and join in about every second one. I hated it from then on! It's not that I don't like singing sometimes, I just was not in the mood - and yes, I also felt stupid for the other people. I couldn't decide whether it was more stupid to stay sitting when everyone around me was standing or standing up with them and not singing . (There was no way I could sing along - way too self-conscious). It sounds stupid now, telling about it, but at the time it totally destroyed my evening. And yeah, I feel stupid sometimes in supermarket queues, in coffee shops, and specially in tutorial groups. It's one of the reasons I stopped going to church. And here's a really stupid one... I did well enough in my studies last semester that I won a prize. It has totally thrown me .. I suppose it sorta feels good to have done so well, but now I have to go to a presentation and I am already feeling stupid about that . Makes me feel like deliberately not doing so well next time in case this happens again. And yet, I know that is a crazy reaction

It's totally not stupid that you feel stupid in those situations! I'm the exact same way! Everything makes me feel stupid and really self-conscious. At least we aren't alone.

Nomad

not in pubblic places (i don't go out) but plenty of times when it comes to how i'm feeling...

for example- i'd post something here, or i'd tell someone something and then wish.... oh, i feel so stupid for feeling like this- why am i telling them this!

get a grip!. but unfortunately, that advice never works for me.

I wish I could never go out. I feel stupid for the things I feel too though. My t has to tell me over and over that she doesn't think I'm stupid, and of course I'll still never believe her.

Nomad

I spend a lot of time going over things I've said or done after the fact and feeling like an idiot. probably most of the time no one even notices.