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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 416
11 407 hugs
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Feb 04, 2013 at 04:36 PM
#1
My first post. This is the two year anniversary of my tumultuous marriage. We've lived apart for most of it and have filed for a divorce. He emailed me and brought me flowers. It just makes me so sad. I feel like such a failure. Our break-up caused me to go into a major, clinical depression and I was hospitalized for fear of suicide. I'm doing okay, but really need him to stay away from me so I can heal. Now I feel guilty for answering the door when I knew it was him. My sister will come down on me if I tell her. I guess I just won't tell her. She doesn't always understand and really hurts me. He's trying to be my friend, but I just can't have him in my life at all. I feel so bad, guilty, sad, depressed. Just need to tell someone. Thanks.
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 RJ78
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Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 142
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Feb 05, 2013 at 03:40 AM
#2
This is tricky, jean17. Your ex seems to be sending mixed messages, and maybe your sister is trying to protect you from being hurt again. You are right - if your ex is not to be in your life any more, he really can't bring you flowers - but I understand you feeling guilty when he does. I think though it might be best if you can somehow tell your sister, since she is likely to find out anyway and will be more upset if she thinks you were hiding it from her. After all, it is not as if you asked for flowers. Maybe if you say first that you know she will be upset but you want her to understand.. she might be gentler and not come down on you so hard. Seems your sister has your best interest, and family is really important, if we can keep in good with them.
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 jean17
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: canada
Posts: 296
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Feb 05, 2013 at 05:58 AM
#3
Hey its nobody elses business how you handle your relationship. So just ignore your sister, although Im sure she means well. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to heal. Ofcourse you will have mixed feelings and thats why you opened the door. Its ok. Just take your time and protect yourself. If he respects you he will give you all the time and space that you need.
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jean17
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Member Since Nov 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 242
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Feb 05, 2013 at 07:29 AM
#4
Jean,
I was in a similar situation once, but in my case I was the one knocking at the door with flowers. I wasn't doing myself or my former partner any good. The best thing that happened was staying away for at least 6 months, which made separating a little easier in the long run. It's hard, especially when we're depressed, but it was well worth it. Hugs to you, RJ |
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jean17
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 416
11 407 hugs
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Feb 05, 2013 at 08:54 AM
#5
Just wanted to say thanks. It's nice to know someone understands and reaches out to help.
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 416
11 407 hugs
given |
Feb 05, 2013 at 08:55 AM
#6
Just wanted to say thanks for your kind words. I feel so alone with my feelings. It's nice to have someone to talk to.
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Member
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 416
11 407 hugs
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Feb 05, 2013 at 09:10 AM
#7
Quote:
Just wanted to say thanks. I appreciate your kindness. |
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| shortandcute
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