[jean17]

Yesterday, I was just saying that I felt like I was really out of the woods. My depression had lifted and I was actually feeling "normal".
I took too much medication to sleep last night. At least, that's what I'm blaming it on. I woke up this morning feeling soooo hurt. You know, the kind of hurting in your head and heart that makes you cry on the inside and feel in the depths of despair. I'm sorry that I tried to sleep last night and took so many drugs. Today, it's like I was never getting better and I'm right back down in the deep, dark pit again. I have serious doubts as to whether or not I will ever get "better" this time. I'm feeling so bad.

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by jean17

Yesterday, I was just saying that I felt like I was really out of the woods. My depression had lifted and I was actually feeling "normal".
I took too much medication to sleep last night. At least, that's what I'm blaming it on. I woke up this morning feeling soooo hurt. You know, the kind of hurting in your head and heart that makes you cry on the inside and feel in the depths of despair. I'm sorry that I tried to sleep last night and took so many drugs. Today, it's like I was never getting better and I'm right back down in the deep, dark pit again. I have serious doubts as to whether or not I will ever get "better" this time. I'm feeling so bad.

Medication hangovers can be miserable and make you feel both physically bad and emotionally like you blew it. Its done and over. Go forward from here.

Do you keep a journal? For some people, it helps to work out your feelings on paper. It also helps you look back and find patterns in your ups and downs. Somewhere in there, you may find that certain foods, music, situations etc. act as triggers to either bring you down, or make you feel better. When its written down, you don't have to second guess yourself when you try to remember what happened last week. If you are nervous about someone finding and reading something you would rather they not, get a journal with a lock on it. (I think they still make those, or am I showing my age? lol).

Depression can be very similar to grief in that it can come and go in waves. If you have ever lost a family member, be they human or animal, you know that in the aftermath, there are good days and bad. Just when you think you have come to terms with it, you hear a song that reminds you of that family member and everything goes to peices.

I know you feel like nothing will ever be the same again, but you will have good times. For some of us, the fight against depression is lifelong, for others, its not. Having been through suicide attempts, cutting, depression and a host of other things, I can honestly say that I'm glad I'm still alive. There are days when I question that, and things are still very difficult, but I also know there are many others in the same boat.

Remember that you have support here. It may not be the same as face to face support, but its here just the same. Please don't give up on yourself or beat yourself up over your slip in judgement. Be careful with the medications. We don't want to lose a member because of a mistake.

Sam2

[jean17]

Thanks for your words of understanding and support.

[unaluna]

Was there something in the air yesterday?? I was down too, WAAAAY down. Today seems better