[andrea2135]

So I go in and out of depression and the last few days all I want to do is sleep. I have a history of trying to commit suicide 9 times in the past year and a half and have been diagnosed with major depression recurring and BPD. But, right now I should be happy new job and boyfriend and I am more depressed than ever. This past Monday it was my birthday and I only got out of bed to go see my psychiatrist. Last week I drank from Wednesday to Saturday and from Sunday until now I have been in bed. I have not gone into work and have used the excuse of I have a rash that I got that I can't stop scratching ( which I did and did go to the doctor for), but I can go to work. If I keep it up I am going to get fired this is a new job. I just don't have the energy to get out of bed. And, for the past year all I've been saying is the thing that may snap me a little out of the depression would be a job, but I guess it's not. I don't know what to do. I cut again today and this time I cut the letters FML onto me. Anyone have any ideas I am so lost I really need to get my act together. I do go to therapy every week.

["Tilly may"]

take baby steps, set little goals and achieve them. just little ones like getting up and brushing your teeth, getting dressed. your situation sounds very serious. Im not sure how to get out of depression as i suffer it too and sleep a lot to avoid having to feel.
sorry i cant be more helpful
Cyn