Soon I'll be going to therapy for depression, severely isolating myself, constant suicidal thoughts and possible manic depression.

What does the therapist do? Does he/she take the lead or do I have to say what I'm trying so hard to explain about my situations?

I'm on the verge of just saying.. "I don't know.. I'm fine".

This kills me..

[adam_k]

It usually start out by you two getting to know each other. Then what is your goal. I.e. being less depressed, self esteem, past trauma, etc.

[Rohag]

Welcome, Wired Wrongly.

I have an already established relationship with the person I see. Sometimes I mine my posts here and other notes I've made for material for the sessions. I'll even print out a post or summary to bring and discuss.

You're the "customer"; the therapist is there providing you a service. I hope your particular therapist is sensitive to you and will adapt to your personal state.

[Sadley]

Wired wrongly,

Welcome, I too have experienced the things you mentioned. I have been diagnosed with major depression. I just typed out my experience with my therapist and deleted it from this message. I realized that if I said what I was going to say it wouldn't help anybody, it might actually make things worse. Hmm, but by me saying that its going to produce fear, and that will make it worse still... damn, I don't know what to say.

Ok, I would suggest that you do go to your therapist, and that you just say how you really feel. You are trying to help yourself when you feel like total crap, right? So just say exactly how you feel when you feel your worst. Hopefully the therapist will know what to do.

Thanks for the help people above.

My mom got me to do some sort of excersise by making me write down a list of "five things that make me happy and five things that make me sad". It took about 15 minutes to complete.. It was hard to write down five things that made me happy..

The reason that I think that seeing a professional is because even though my mom was trying to help, it just made it a whole lot worse.. I ended up crying while crwentching my teeth and trying to stop crying. (sevear anger and sadness..)

I thought music made me happy.. Not anymore.. It's just something I use to occupy myself while I think about how much everything sucks..