[UniLife]

Okay (sorry this is long but please read it)
I am a first year university student and most people would say my life is perfect. I was a straight A student in highschool and still am. My parents are perfect and I have one younger sister who I am super close with. This year I went to university and everything is great I have made lots of new friends and I have a boyfriend now who is really great.
I miss my other friends a lot as well as my sister but I see them on weekends when I go home. I miss school sports as well but I workout a lot at university to stay in shape. The past two years in highschool I was babysitting a little boy once a week. I babysat him from when he was first born until he was 2 years old (when I went to uni). My sister now babysits him. I love the little guy and miss him quite a bit as well. His mom works a lot and I think his dad is an alcoholic. Three weeks ago when I went home my dad had a freak out about the neighbour (the father of the boy I babysit). My dad thinks he is insane and doesn't want us going over there anymore. I was really rattled about this situation because I have basically helped raise the little boy and for me to just stop seeing him would be really hard for me. I argued about it with my dad and it ended with my just crying myself to sleep and the conversation just ended, he said that it was a little ridiculous how attached I have gotten.
Recently, maybe the past few weeks, I haven't been feeling great. I don't feel really sad but I just don't feel happy. Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and am getting ready for class and I just cry. Sometimes at night I will just cry too but I don't really know why... I have no one to talk about it to except my sister. I told her how I was feeling (not about the crying) and she said she was kinda feeling the same way (her best friend moved away this year and school sports stopped). I think her telling me that made me feel even worse and I don't wanna put all this on her because she is still young and I just want her to be happy.
I have no motivation to do anything, I do assignments last minute and lately haven't really been caring how well they are done. I sleep quite a bit because I don't really know how else to keep my mind off of things. Whenever I have time to think I think like crazy and get sad and want to cry but I really don't know why. I don't see any point in doing anything anymore. I go to the gym a lot because it keeps my mind off things and it's the only way for me to actually feel something and feel like I am accomplishing something.
Today when I got home for the weekend I walked in the house and hugged my dad and I just wanted to cry. I think he sensed it and asked me what was wrong and my throat got all tight and I said nothing and went to my room and cried.
I would normally not write on stuff like this but I really don't know what to do.
Please help me, I really don't know what is wrong because nothing should be wrong, am I depressed? I have never had anything like this before.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, UniLife! Depression does not require a significant trauma or obvious cause. Some of the symptoms you describe (change in mood, neither sad nor happy, lack of motivation over the course of time, spontaneous crying, etc.) are things you should discuss with a medical professional. It might be

• depression
• some other illness
• depression and some other illness
• "adjustment" issues
• nothing of long-term significance

Again, welcome!

[Sam2]

Depression can occur at any age, and as Rohag said, there doesn't need to be av specific trauma to spark it. Your argument with your father may have upset you, but it is unlikely that it would carry so far into your life.

I see nothing wrong with your getting attatched to the child you babysat. However, you have to be careful with your contact with the child when there may be some instability in the home. Sadly, people will sometimes make false accusations about child abuse or molestation that are not true, simply because they are not happy with the accused. This happens more when the older person is a male and the child a female, but it does happen to both.

Without knowing why your father believes your neighbor is unstable or "insane" its hard to know what is going on.

Right now, the important things is how you are feeling. I would encourage you to take advantage of college counsellors to seek help for your feelings. It sounds like this may be the early onset of depression, and its far better to get it diagnosed and under control early. No one likes to think that they may have an emotional problem, but its worth checking out.

Sam2

I agree with Sam2--please go to your college's counseling service. They are there to help you!

[UniLife]

Originally Posted by Sam2

Without knowing why your father believes your neighbor is unstable or "insane" its hard to know what is going on.

Right now, the important things is how you are feeling. I would encourage you to take advantage of college counsellors to seek help for your feelings. It sounds like this may be the early onset of depression, and its far better to get it diagnosed and under control early. No one likes to think that they may have an emotional problem, but its worth checking out.

Sam2

Thank you very much.
The reason my dad thinks the boys dad is unstable is in my eyes not right. We had them over for dinner one day when they first moved in and the dad came over drunk, he was definitely not right. Now this was the only time my dad met him, and first impressions are very important... My dad hates him now and hates when we go over to babysit.
The dad works out of his home so I see him quite a bit when I am babysitting. He is 100% normal when I see him, usually cooks me lunch and then goes back into his office, but totally normal definitely not drunk. Sometimes he goes on business trips and his wife has told me that he has anxiety problems when he goes in public places and he is not too good with people, so he takes pills before he goes on the trip.
There was another incident with my aunt and uncle who are also our neighbours.. He went over there drunk and asked if he could borrow their shotgun because there are a lot of coyotes around these days. They said yes and he did shoot some coyotes (in my area hunting is very common). After this incident was when my dad and I got into the big argument.
My dad says that the man is extremely unstable and something is wrong in his head. I think that he is probably an alcoholic but the reason people only see him when he is drunk is because drinking gives him the confidence to socially interact. I realize that my opinion is biased because of how much I love his son but my dad is being a little extreme, is he not?
My dad says that he could go crazy any moment and shoot everyone in the house and he doesn't want us going over there anymore. How am I supposed to just stop seeing someone I've practically raised? My dad is always saying why won't you believe me I say I do but how am I supposed to believe him and then live with the fact that the little boy I babysit could be in danger??
My dad says the man is dangerous so we can't do anything about it but we should no longer be in contact with them.

I can never get this situation off of my mind, it's a big weight on my shoulders. My dad has me scared... If something ever happened to the little 2 year old boy I don't know what I would do, definitely be a lot more depressed than I am now..........