[Mitra angryredhead]

A good freind of mine who just had major heart surgery is now in a medically induced coma and they don't know if she will make it. The left side of her heart just stopped working and she had to have a left ventricular assit device put in. She is now on the heart transplant list. I do wish people could understand WHY I talk about her so much becuz I think folks either just plain don't wanna hear it or are getting tired of my talking about her health. She is the ONLY one who can relate to my brain defect since we have the same one and are also freinds in a support site for that. it's how we met actually and have chatted and called for 2 years now. I ferr getting my heart torn out again by Loss. I get offended easy by others and can't explain it.

[optimize990h]

Hi mitral angryredhead! I'm sorry your friend is in critical care. You can vent or let off some steam with this thread. You can ask for help here if you have any questions.

It's very difficult to go through this, especially someone who gave you support in the past.

I have some prayers for your friend, if you are comfortable with that. If you are not comfortable with that, just leave a note on my profile page here at PC.

[Sam2]

This has to be an incredibly rough time for you. Before I answered your post, I googled your disorder just to get an idea what you face under "normal" circumstances.

It does not surprise me that your friend is so important to you. Any impairment, be it physical or emotional often leaves the person who has it isolated, misunderstood and unsure about thier future. The fact that your disorder is not that common would make finding someone who truly understands you difficult. It must have felt like an enormous weight was lifted from your shoulders when you met your friend on the forum. Having her gravely ill is a fear I can only imagine.

You speak of people not understanding why you talk about your friend so much. As a whole, people tend to avoid conversations that they know little about or that have a negative aspect to them. (They may gossip, but that is different than talking about or listening to your worries about your friend). Because your friend is such a large part of your life, it only stands to reason that you would want to talk about her, whether she is well or as she is now in ICU. I think that in a lot of cases, people with physical or emotional disorders find that they live in a much smaller world than "normal" people. Often times we can't keep up, feel poorly or can't get around as easily as other people. I know for myself, before I go out, I have to make sure that I have my cane, medications, some sort of electrolyte fluid to drink and my phone in case I fall. That is just for a quick trip to the grocery store. Its much more complicated to get ready to go do something fun, and often, by the time I get everything together, I'm too tired or hurt too much to go at all.

Under normal circumstances, you would probably be able to visit your friend, talk to her and read to her, but as your relationship is through messaging and chatting, that opportunity is not open for you. I'm sure that adds stress on top of everything else. People that have been in a coma and have recovered sometimes say that they were able to hear during thier coma, but were unable to respond. Since you have called her in the past, if she is living with her parents, and they are willing, perhaps they will hold a phone to her ear while you talk to her for a bit. It might do both of you some good. At the worst, she won't hear you, but you have nothing to lose and perhaps it would give her some spiritual comfort.

I'm very sorry I don't have a better answer for you. I have only one friend, and we are very close. I worry about what will happen when she dies. (she is fifteen years my senior). I'd be beside myself if she were in the ICU in a coma.
Know that my prayers are with her and you as well. It sounds like she is something of a soulmate. Those are hard to find and the bond is extremely strong. I hope she is able to recover. Please let us know what happens.

Sam2

[Mitra angryredhead]

Sam2.. thanks for this comment. FINALLy someone gets it... yes I feel VERY isolated and am in fact at a crisis center for threatening Suicide last nihgt. due to being singled out on here... I think I will just skip chat here altogether and just post. I am trying to change the last part of my name.. angryredhead so I PMed christina? I want to keep mitra becuz my ffriend adores the name. I bought a ticket to go see her but had to change it to the state they are moving her too.. from MN to the tucson AZ heart center. She has talked befor of us living together and starting a shelter crisis center for ACCers as well as a support forum called ACC connections

[shezbut]

I do understand how hard it must be for you, Mitra.

I have had surgery to remove area in my brain for intractable seizures in 03/06. Not many people in this world can relate to that sort of thing. A year after my brain surgery, I slipped on the ice and fell on the same part of my head ~ causing a traumatic brain injury. Those of us struggling with similar issues tend to bond quickly. Like Superglue! Imo, that is a perfectly natural, normal thing to do.

While I am very sorry to hear that ACC gal might be moving to Arizona, to get more help for her heart, I am happy to hear that she has a friend who will be there for her. That is terrific! I live in Rochester, Mn & was planning on visiting ACC gal when she was going to come to Mayo Clinic for brain treatment. I live just a block or two away!

Gentle hugs to you ~ sometimes you may feel completely alone, but you aren't. Try to hold onto that fact. Other people can and DO care about you. You just can't always see or feel it.