[black dog boogie]

Hey all, I'm new here. I'm a 27 year old female, living in New Zealand.

I've been depressed since I suspect around 13-14 years of age, possibly earlier without realising it. I was diagnosed at 19. I get it pretty severely. Though I have improved somewhat as I've gotten older, depression still disrupts my life. I basically have about one severe 'meltdown' a year which requires me to take time off work. Just recently, a couple of weeks ago, I had a severe episode. I took four days off and basically laid in bed (though I had one day where I FORCED myself outside to go for a run. then I came back to bed though.)

When I went back to work this week I didn't feel ready, I was really out of sorts (to put it lightly) for a few days. Today, finally, I am starting to feel a bit 'normal' again but not quite there.

I have lost jobs in the past because I have episodes where I just can't cope with simple daily tasks. I start to feel that nothing is worthwhile, that there is no point, no hope. (you know the drill.)

I have not been medicated for about two years now. I'd like to say I'm proud of this, but in honesty, these two years have been emotional torture. A LOT of ups and downs. I got married two years ago and in this time I believe a number of marital problems have been caused because of my difficult moods. One day I can be relaxed and cruisy about everything. The next day I'll go crazy at my husband for something like not rinsing the knife he used to butter his toast. I get very rigid when I'm in a 'mood', everything peeves me off and on those days my poor husband literally can not get a single thing right to make me happy.

Anyway, I am seeing a doctor again on Monday to discuss the possibility of going back on fluoxetine. It's the first med I had for depression and it gave me no side effects that I noticed. It possibly gave me the sexual dysfunction stuff, BUT here's the thing. I was celibate before I got married. So I wasn't aware of any sexual problems I may have had then. So, fluox was pretty good but after 6 months it didn't seem to work anymore. My doctor at the time suggested upping the dose and that's when I decided I didn't want to take it anymore. It scared me to think that every 6 months I might just have to increase the dose - for how long, to what extent??

Months later of course I had a break down and tried citalopram. Didn't take it for longer than 2 weeks because of all the headaches and dizziness and nausea it gave me. I struggled on without meds but again wound up at the doc after a break down. I went on and off fluox another couple of times before they decided to try me on venlafaxine. Venlafaxine is the single most EVIL thing I have ever put in my body. Never again. Weaning myself off that, after only one month, was a nightmare and I had buzzing in my head for like 6 months after completely coming off it.

Since then I've tried an anti-anxiety med a couple of times but it absolutely KILLED my libido, straight away. So I didn't stick to that either.

So now I'm considering going back on fluoxetine but I am concerned. I was celibate before getting married, and since getting married have discovered that sex is really difficult and painful for me. I've talked to sexual health nurses and they seem to think there's nothing wrong with me sexually. So I am guessing that the depression itself is affecting this area of my life. However, I can still manage some sexual gratification with my hubby, even though it's difficult and frankly, it sucks that it's so hard for me. But I'm worried that if I go on fluox again it will outright take away the very little pleasure I can get. It really upsets me that we have such a crappy sex life and of course my hubby doesn't feel great about it either.

Is there ANY hope for those of us who take meds to have a rewarding and satisfactory sex life? Is there ANYTHING I can do to recover from this?

I kind of feel like I'm damned if I do (take the meds), and damned if I don't.

Is there an antidepressant out there anywhere that doesn't destroy a person's sex life?

Anyway, any advice would be much appreciated. I have been really freaked out the last couple of weeks (during my breakdown). I was really unstable and just couldn't cope with anything. I've been physically exhausted, with headaches almost every day. I don't want to go back there and end up jobless once again.

What would you do?

Well, you must realize that all medications have side effects and they are going to
happily take all the nutrition that they need to metabolize in your system. When we
take medications once a day for 7 days per week, we can be pretty sure that our
nutritional stores are being affected.

What you need to do, in my view, is to talk to a pharmacist about helping you purchase a pharmaceutical grade multiple vitamin and mineral that will offset the effects of the meds' use of your stores of vitamins and minerals.

Your sex life will probably improve as your nutrition improves. Why psychiatrists don't advise patients of the need to supplement their diets is beyond me.

All medications leave an acidic ash (or residue) that our systems must metabolize.
Taking the meds daily makes it difficult for the kidneys to catch up with the job of
metabolizing that acidic ash.

One of the simplest things you can start with is to remove the current salt shaker
you're using. Go with Himalayan sea salt (the purest in the world) that has all the
trace minerals which are missing from the system to a degree when we take meds
so frequently. That's just a minor start. (Salts which are processed in this country
and are purified do not have the trace minerals that we need.)

When you're feeling down from the meds, cut two lemons in half and squeeze them
into a glass of about 8 oz of water. Drink it; if, in 4 hours, you don't feel better,
repeat the process. It works for many of us, because the lemon is so alkaline when
it's digested (even though it takes very acidic on the tongue), and that alleviates
the buildup of acidic residue from meds in your tissues and fluids. I use it occasionally when I know that I've had too much acid in my system.

If you're unable to really function satisfactorily with your current meds, tell your
psychiatrist that you want to try another. Often, it takes several different efforts
with various meds to find the combination you need for the short term.

For the long term, become pro-active in your care. Learn all you can about nutrition to ease bipolar illness, including things such as changing your diet to more alkaline foods. Please see alkalinefoods.com to learn which foods help in making diet changes, or check AcidFoods.com to learn which ones to cut back on in your diet.

Recently, new information suggests that wheat, rye, barley, and possibly oats contain gluten which is very bad for our systems. If you can, eliminate wheat from your diet and substitute more nuts (particularly pecans, walnuts), seeds, and green vegetables in your diet. Have a fresh green salad once every day. (The current wheat being produced has been re-engineered by agricultural scientists to contain far more gluten, and it is turning out that it is very harmful for humans to ingest. The best source on that is Dr. David Williams' recent New York best seller called Wheat Belly. It explains it all.)

Hope you are able to grasp all of this and make efforts at changes gradually that suit your style for improvement in feeling tone.

[Leed]

Hi "black dog" -- It sounds like you DO need to get back on medications, and possibly STAY on them since the depression keeps coming back.

Talk with your doctor about what the medication did to you previously regarding your sex life. I'm sure there are meds that don't have that side effect. There are alot of meds out there that don't have the same side effects so have a good talk with him.

Also, there are gels you can use to make sex less painful. They help alot and keep you lubricated. Those can be purchased at any pharmacy.

Prozac and Cymbalta, and they didn't mess with me sexually but maybe that's just me. I might react differently than you. I don't know. Just talk with your doctor, and he'll know what's best for you.

Best of luck and God bless. Let us know how you come out. Hugs, Lee

[black dog boogie]

Thanks for the info, genetic. I didn't know that about antidepressant medication (the effect they have on the body). Do you have a source or a website I can go to to learn more about how antidepressants directly affect the body?

In terms of nutrition, I think I am doing WAAY better now than I ever have in my life. I have made some huge dietary changes over the past year. I became vegan, so completely cut dairy, eggs and meat from my life. I eat beans, tofu and tempeh regularly to keep up with protein. I eat a LOT of fresh fruits and vegetables. I start every day with either a fruit smoothie, or porridge that contains chia seeds, walnuts, chopped up apples, raisins and blueberries.
I probably still have a bit too much fatty stuff, and maybe a little too many refined carbs in my daily diet. I am gluten free now as I found out a few months ago that I am wheat intolerant. So I have completely cut wheat (and therefore gluten) out of my diet. I probably only get it in very small amounts now where it is used in other products (e.g. soy sauce). I am also addicted to sugar, and while I don't eat it nearly as much as I used to (when I was at uni I would binge on an ENTIRE family-sized block of chocolate and polish it off in one sitting) I still will have something sugary probably every day, or most days. I know cutting sugar out will help tremendously, so that is my next dietary aim.

Thank you too for your input Leed. I am not sure if Prozac will in fact have the sexual side affects I am so worried about getting, as I said the last time I was on it was when I was celibate anyway. We will see. I'll try to talk to my doctor about these concerns but I am quite embarassed I'm female and my doctor is male, and I'm a bit of a prude anyway and find it hard to talk about sex with anyone.

[dillpickle1983]

Wellbutrin (Bupropion) has very little if any sexual side effects. I took it for a few months and noticed no negative change in libido. I'm curious about the Effexor because that is what I want to try next. Anyways hope you start feeling better real soon!!

Sent from my BlackBerry 9310

[black dog boogie]

Originally Posted by chandlerT660

Wellbutrin (Bupropion) has very little if any sexual side effects. I took it for a few months and noticed no negative change in libido. I'm curious about the Effexor because that is what I want to try next. Anyways hope you start feeling better real soon!!

Sent from my BlackBerry 9310

Thanks chandler, did you notice other side affects though?

[Cocosurviving]

I hope you come to a decision. Meds can posse a challenge when side effects are the end results. I won't tell you what I think you should do. I do take meds and they have really helped me.

Best wishes

[TheRealFDeal]

Originally Posted by chandlerT660

Wellbutrin (Bupropion) has very little if any sexual side effects. I took it for a few months and noticed no negative change in libido. I'm curious about the Effexor because that is what I want to try next. Anyways hope you start feeling better real soon!!

Sent from my BlackBerry 9310

I take Effexor and it works for me; no side effects. But I took Zoloft for many, many years before that and it finally stopped working. I believe I will be on an anti-depressant for life. It's just a matter of finding one that works for you and keeping on top of it. It seems like every one needs to make a med change every now and then.

[black dog boogie]

Effexor was the DEVIL for me. I won't touch that stuff with a hundred foot stick.

An update -- saw my doc today, took my friend's advice of writing out all my concerns and giving it to him to read. He was pretty concerned about it, and has agreed to refer me to mental health services (and forward my notes to them) so I can have a psychiatric assessment. In the mean time he's prescribed me fluox, which I know in the short term will help, but I'll probably look at trying something else in the long run once I've been assessed. I think I'm going to be assessed for bipolar disorder. I'll know when I get a phone call from a mental health person.

Thanks for the encouragement

Well, you're good to go, Black dog boogie! The psychiatric help will work and your diet is excellent. I wish mine were as good!

Take care.

[black dog boogie]

Originally Posted by genetic

Well, you're good to go, Black dog boogie! The psychiatric help will work and your diet is excellent. I wish mine were as good!

Take care.

I wouldn't go so far as to say my diet is excellent, I am sadly still addicted to sugar and I love salt and oil a bit too much... Everything is a process though I guess!
I'm looking forward to trying your lemon juice trick.

[RJ78]

Glad to hear that you had a productive meeting with your doc. I take meds and have some sexual side effects, but to be honest it's worth it for me. I'm not married or in a relationship right now, but when I was it was the same story and I spoke openly about it with my partner and she was fine with it all.

My ability to function day-to-day trumps my ability to have my pre-depression sex life. But we all make different decisions depending on our situations, and mine may change someday too.

RJ

[Stimpy]

Hi,
I hated my meds and decided to quietly wean myself off (Zoloft) and did not tell my wife or Doctor for a long time.
More problems then solutions!!!!
My choice was dangerous to my self and my family. Besides the obvious medical risks, there was the risk of self harm, then the damage to my family emotional wise while acting irrationally, hurt feelings when i spun out of control etc...
Then there was the betrayal factor because I had to lie to pull it off.
Bad choice.
I was then afraid to see my doctor. I thought he would not take me as apatient if I was not being honest and not following his help.
Thankfully he cared and put me on CYMBALTA!
No side effects, loving it!
Thumbs up to you for bring up front with your doctor and trying! Cymbalta is expensive but I am glad to find it.
GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

[black dog boogie]

Stimpy, thanks for your post.
I've had three days on fluox now with no ill side effects (that I'm aware of!). Except that I get REALLY HIGH at various times of the day. I don't know for sure if it's fluox doing it because I didn't think it would start affecting my mood that quick. Can anyone give me some insights? I've been jittery and full of energy and more outspoken than usual. This morning I even had a go at a bus driver who complained at me for ages. I ended up mouthing off at him in front of a whole bus load of people. And I didn't care. He was such a ****
Not only that, but I've been quite irritable with my husband and a bit snappy. And last night I just about had a full on rage at him just because he didn't order pizza when I asked him to. I was able to control it and not swear at him, and then afterwards I got really giggly.
This didn't happen to me last time I was on fluox, but that was a few years ago.
Has anyone had similar experiences?

[RJ78]

Sure. The two times I started taking a new med I almost right away had a day to two days of highs. Just giggling at random times and actually thinking optimistically a bit. Nothing that lasted throughout the day, but random spurts. I never got angry or had an excess of energy. Just a little funny, which felt amazing after four years of hellish suffering. Just to know I could feel that for like 2-3 minutes, gave me the slightest glimmer of hope.

Keep us posted!

RJ