Don't know how to deal with the mess my life is. Have no one to turn to. Don't want to feel this way anymore. Would rather die than go on like this but I have kids so I cant do that to them. Feeling tortured.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by triste1

Don't know how to deal with the mess my life is.

Sorry to hear that... please, list the issues that you are dealing with.

[whatsinaname]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. You can turn to the people on here. There have been people who have sent me very encouraging messages and have helped to make me feel better. What feeling is torturing you?

You are not alone in feeling this way. Think of the love you have for your children and go from there...

Originally Posted by triste1

Don't know how to deal with the mess my life is. Have no one to turn to. Don't want to feel this way anymore. Would rather die than go on like this but I have kids so I cant do that to them. Feeling tortured.

I am 46. No family no friends. I am bipolar, borderline, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, suicidal. Also have early onset Parkinson's. My husband is cruel to me. I have no way to get medical help aside from checking myself into hospital. I have no future. I don't have a car to get out of house often. Don't want to be here anymore.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by triste1

I am 46. No family no friends. I am bipolar, borderline, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, suicidal. Also have early onset Parkinson's. My husband is cruel to me. I have no way to get medical help aside from checking myself into hospital. I have no future. I don't have a car to get out of house often. Don't want to be here anymore.

This is horrible. I definitely understand.

Can you check yourself into a hospital? You have so many issues, and the drug interactions (neurological drugs for Parkinson's / psychiatric drugs) can be so serious that you really do need medical help and the hospital might be the best place to get it. It has specialists.

You do not have a car because of money or health issues?

If the husband is cruel, maybe you do not need him anymore, or are you financially dependent on him and would not be able to draw support from him if you divorce him?

I'm so sorry you feel like this.

[spondiferous]

triste, is there an emergency health support line you can call? Maybe someone can take you to the hospital? It sounds like you're in crisis right now and you need all the help you can get. In the meantime hugs...you have us here at PC.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by triste1

I am 46. No family no friends. I am bipolar, borderline, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, suicidal. Also have early onset Parkinson's. My husband is cruel to me. I have no way to get medical help aside from checking myself into hospital. I have no future. I don't have a car to get out of house often. Don't want to be here anymore.

In my county, you would have free transportation given the Parkinson's, as assistance to the disabled. You would just need to let them know in advance of when you need rides.

Where do you live?

He has the our car, sitting in a bar. I am dependent on him financially. I have no were to go. Have no way to leave him. I'm sorry, I'm just hurting so bad. I cant take it.

Northern WV. I have tried to get help. Tried to help myself.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by triste1

Northern WV. I have tried to get help. Tried to help myself.

You need somebody to help you. You are hurting too badly now to help yourself. Northern WV probably does not have good social services. Have you tried county mental health? Have you applied for disability? Have you ever worked?

Its ok I'm going to sleep now. Thank you for trying to help.

Originally Posted by nevergoodenough

I'm so sorry you feel like this.

Thank you...

Thank you all for talking to me last night. I really appreciate it. Doing a little better this morning. Will try to figure out some way to get some help though ive tried before. Will try again

[allimsaying]

Dont give up triste, keep us posted. You can change your situation. Maybe it wont be easy but its better than being stuck.

[hamster-bamster]

Here - the map to find mental health services by county in your state:

Welcome to the BBHHF

Thank you hamster. Because my husband works on and off and gets unemployment in between I do not qualify for any services based on his income. I have applied for many types of help and have been turned down. When you are working poor you get nothing, just a fact of the healthcare in this country. Not sure what I'm going to do. Please believe when I say I have tried to get help I have in every way possible. I don't just sit here feeling sorry for myself. I am numb today, guess that's a good thing for now. My emotions are cycling back and forth very quickly these days, going to try to get some control over them with some mindful thinking. I also do yoga and exercise and some meditating. Trying to help myself in ways I can. Thank you again for your support.

[hamster-bamster]

Yeah, in a way were you divorced you would qualify.

Yoga and exercise and meditation are all great.

If I could leave him most of my problems would go away, lol

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by triste1

If I could leave him most of my problems would go away, lol

Well, figure out what it would mean, financially - what kind of aid you would qualify for etc. With your list of dx, you might qualify for SSI. SSI is not based on prior earnings, unlike SSDI. If you are that sick, you will qualify even if you have been staying home all along.