[bobala24]

I don't know why my life has turned to this. I guess that since my life has always been depressing, then it was inevitable. It all started with hating how fat i am, i have always hated how i look. That's how my depression began. Then my dad had been having the same problem but also that he had wanted to be a woman and he almost killed himself. My depression just became worse and i didn't know how to deal with what was going on with my dad, and before i knew it my parents got divorced and now i go back and forth between parents. Then there is my little brother whom i had no idea that he was depressed as well, but he got help though. The best thing in my life , was adopting my dog May. She was always there when i needed comfort you know? I had no one there for me when i was depressed, cutting myself, and all that i was going through. She was the only thing that mattered to me. Five years after i adopted her, i could tell something was wrong and i tried telling my mom but she wouldn't listen so i figured that she was fine. But August 28th, 2012, i was waiting for my mom to pick me up after school and no one came so i called her and immediately i knew something was wrong. I asked her why she hadn't picked me and my brother up yet from school and she was crying when she said that my dad would pick me up. When he did and told me what happened my heart shattered and i felt that my life had just faded. I didn't get to comfort her as she left my life, I didn't get to say good-bye to her, because my mom didn't want me to be there. I didn't get to see her that day before my mom buried her and my mom has only taken me to visit her grave twice. I have wanted to die ever since so i could be with May. Cause my life doesn't matter to me anymore with her gone. I will never forgive my mom. I don't know if i will ever recover from this.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome to posting, Bobala24!

Originally Posted by bobala24

The best thing in my life , was adopting my dog May. ... I don't know if i will ever recover from this.

I know I will never recover from losing the dogs to whom I bonded. Those losses are scars on my soul I'll carry to the grave. Over time the sting of the loss diminishes, but the psychological wound doesn't go away -- at least for me.

Peace to May, peace to you, Bobala24.

[Pierro]

Bobala, Im so sorry to hear of your dog. A bond with any animal can be for me closer than a human. My little cat ricki is not well. Shes 13 yrs old and cant make the walls and her sight is not good. But holding on to blaming your mother is not going to bring your dog back. Please talk to your mother about it.

[bobala24]

Thats nice, i lay out my whole life and all i get are 2 stinking comments. at least now i know my life isnt worth anything.

[allimsaying]

Everyone matters bobala. There's a lot of different causes for not get many replies but never think its your fault. Everyone here is a volunteer and there can be a lot of reasons why you didnt get more replies. I didnt see this til now. How are you doing?

Sorry to hear about May. Thats really sad. Do you have pictures of her? Maybe you could make a little ceremonial alter in your room with a few flowers or a wreath, maybe one of her toys? She was special to you, its ok to remember her.