Freaking out before a lesson

I ended up having to inform my clarinet instructor... about all things related to depression... and now I really don't want to go in for the lesson that I have at 1:30pm today!!! She wants to help but is insisting on helping me to find a new T.... and I just don't want to!! i KNOW things get bad in the middle of the semester, and don't know how to change that... I've had issues with universities before, and I just didn't want her to know. I'm almost tempted to cancel the lesson for today....

I should go and talk with my T... I just don't want to!! Meaning I don't want to have to admit what really is going on.

In recent days, memories have come back and it's dipped me down farther than I have been in about 12 months.. I just don't want to admit that I'm in the down hill spiral yet again...

It is better to do the uncomfortable thing, even if it's worse than brussels sprouts. The answer is in yourself and you may have already found it. Just have to choose the best one for you in the long run. Even if it's the therapist, it won't be wasted time to see your therapist. Keep on posting here at PC.

Made it through the day, and went to my lesson... I feel so unprepared for all of my classes. and there's 5 weeks left of the semester.

Is this a matter of actually being unprepared, or - regardless of your preparation - you never can feel prepared? I ask because, for me, depression undermines my confidence in any type of preparation I make.

a little of both.